It's official...I guess

Houston refuses to let go of the death grip it has on us. Keep trying to get away and it just won't let that happen. Warning: I punched Positive Polly in the face last night so this is going to be an angry, emotional, negative post, there are no flowers and sunshine here. B interviewed last week for a job back home. The interview went really well (his 2nd up there this summer) and they said on Wed. they anticipated a decision by the end of the week, maybe early this week. Well, its Wed. now and B says if they haven't called by now he didn't get it. Do people not call or email those polite "we're sorry we've decided to go a different way..." emails/calls anymore? Have a heart people. They probably know from experience what its like waiting nervously for days to find out if you got the job, they can't at least remember that and give people some closure?! B is taking this much better than I am I'll say that. I spontaneously burst into tears several times yesterday, last night and this morning. I don't want to be here anymore. We said 2 years here and then we want to move home. The scariest part is, there were so many, I mean pretty much every district he would even consider working for in DFW had an opening this year. And out of all those jobs, he got 2 interviews and no call backs. So...how long is this going to go on? I can't waste the money renting a house for 5 more years till something finally works out. I refuse to buy a house here cause we don't want to stay here. This is NOT where we belong. I hate the traffic, the weather, the crime, the people are ghetto. WHY can't this happen for us? WHEN will this happen for us? Its not like we have a bad life here by any means, but we want to go home. I can't handle driving 4 hours to and from everytime we go home. God forbid anyone should come visit us-cause that doesnt happen. There are always more important things for them to do. Well, I guess I've decided that if it not that big of a deal for you to ever even CONSIDER coming here to see me, from now on the people that were priorities to see when we were in town are being re-evaluated. I don't want to hear things like "oh it just wasn't meant to be...the right thing will come along..." I realize that but it doesnt make the situation better. My friend Meghann told me to go kick the dog or pinch a baby, I don't want to do that but I am so angry, hurt, you name it. Granted there are pros and cons to every situation. We talked at length last night about finances and what we need to change, do more of, do less of. Incase we do get lucky next year. This effing sucks!!!!!!!!!!!

You wanna test me?!

Oh my the universe was testing Positive Polly yesterday. I think I stayed pretty positive though. Lets see first, we are still waiting on some important news. Nothing to report there yet. Today is THE day!!! I hope... So I was out to lunch with our CEO yesterday and realized the touch screen on my phone was not responding. I could still turn it off and on but everything is touch and when that doesnt work, nothing works. So after spending awhile on the phone with AT&T and trying the things they told me, we were getting nowhere. So B and I went after dinner last night to the store to let them look at it. I was I guess not that surprised when they told me "yeah we've seen this before with this phone" buh, not what I want to hear! I really didnt want to have to buy a new phone right now. So, after looking around it turns out it was cheaper to get an iphone than a newer version of what I had or anything else so...I'm now the proud owner of an iphone! Granted I always play on B's but having my own I realize I have so much to learn. And I'm still amazed that this was the cheaper option lol. In addition to that, B got me a ring for our anniversary. I love it. Its from the Everlon collection, basically a love knot with a diamond in the center. I guess this makes up for the fact that when a flower delivery man came to my office yesterday with a dozen red roses and I was like "oh wow!" then he said they were for someone else but could he leave them with me and have me call her to come get them since she was on another floor? It was her anniversary too lol. So while they were sitting on my desk people who walked by were like "oh look what your husband sent you!" and I had to be like "no no, these arent for me!" Haha. Thats ok, the ring definately means more and will last longer than roses.

June 28th

Well, I am going to be super Positive Polly today. There are many reasons to say "today is going to be a great day!" First, its our 2nd anniversary!! Yay!! Its been fun. We arent doing anything super big. B was supposed to have jury duty today but when he called they said his group didn't have to report after all. Good news! So we didn't make plans to see any shows or anything since we didn't know what time he would be done, etc. Traffic, blah getting back, etc. We are going to go to Lupe Tortilla (yes where the 1/2 price fajitas and awesome $3 margaritas are) tonight. We really don't go here often, and there is ALWAYS a wait cause of the goodness so it being a Monday this seems like prime time to go. So many things to look forward to, both today and the next 80 years we are married.

On a down note, (sorry) the paranoid side of me is wondering why I can't sleep!! This past week I have woken up like 3-4 times a night at least. Saturday night at like 3:45am I was wide awake. I got up to watch tv and hopefully get tired again. Last night I took 2 benadryl to help me sleep. I still woke up twice. What the heck!! I'm tired!!!

Bad Way To Start the Day

I overslept today, oops. Last night I worked out and it was thunderstorming all night so I thought, an awesome recipe for a good nights sleep. I did feel like I slept better, but I still woke up several times throughout the night. I think I drank too much water last night. I have a personal rule in that if I wake up in the middle of the night I NEVER look at the clock. If I do and I see that its like 30 mins before I'm supposed to get up, I won't fall back asleep. I'd rather be blissfully ignorant! So I think my alarm went off and I hit it and went back to sleep. Then of course, this sets of a chain reaction for the rest of the morning. I had my hair curly yesterday and since I didnt have time to shower, I had to make a quick attempt to straighten it with the chi. So my hair looks very half assed today. Also, on my way to work I realized I was on E and needed gas. This being because last night I was like "oh I dont want to stop I'll do it in the morning." Little did I know the morning would be chaotic. At least its Friday.

Getting back to the real reason I started this blog: me attempting to be a good wife and cook more...I will post pics later of my latest attempt at this. I made B a red velvet cheesecake for his birthday last week.

Still tired

I just have a lot on my mind this week I guess cause me and sleep are not getting along. It probably doesnt help that I really havent worked out this week. Workouts always make me sleep better. I have been trying to finish up my teacher online observations at night. Tonight I'll just have to multi-task.

I was totally freaked last night cause I saw this accident happen. I was going to turn right onto the main road to our neighborhood and luckily before I got to the intersection this truck flew through and tore the front bumper off the car next to me who was turning left and then he flew off the road and into the ditch and flipped the truck. I just sat there like "omg omg" for a minute. So did everyone else. The thing is, the car he hit wasnt even the first car off the line, she was like 3rd or 4th to turn, thats how long our light had been green and the truck's had been red. And then I'm thinking omg if I would've been 2 seconds faster and had been turning he would've taken me out too! So the guy crawled out of the upside down truck and then I see him pull a little boy out and he looked unconscious. WHAT was this guy doing that he ran a red light that long after it had turned?! Was he texting? I bet he feels like crap now, especially if that boy had any major injuries. There was a cop that saw it all too so he was right there quick. Ugh, I was freaked out and it made me cry.

Need....sleep

I am so tired still from the other night. Staying up late just throws everything off! I tried to go to bed earlier last night but I didn't make it in bed before 10:15. I still have 15 hours of online observations for my alternative certification to watch to complete my teacher training and man are they boring. They literally went in and filmed classrooms. But the sound is bad so it feels like you are watching on a nanny cam or something. And some of them the teacher isn't even teaching she is doing like one on one work with the kids. So that is consuming my nights lately.

Happy Hour

I don't know why I was still counting days-vacation is over so...I'm going to stop doing that. Let me start by saying I RARELY ever catch Happy Hour. Not that I don't love me some cheap drinks, but especially these last few months, drinking a butt load of calories and stuffing my face havent sounded to tempting. So last night we had some friends passing through town and we decided to take them to Lupe Tortilla. I freakin love that place. When B first came down here for his interview a few years ago some friends took us there and this was pretty much the only thing I was looking forward to when I knew we would be moving to the Houston area. The margaritas are fab and the food is awesome. They always have all you can eat fajitas on Mon and Tues and of course we never go. Let me just say, I found out for the mere price of $15.95 (which is the same as it is for fajitas anytime) you get all you can eat fajitas, plus a cheese enchilada, and queso. Now even though the "all you can eat" part is wasted on me because yeah right I'm not going to order more I can't eat that much, but I will take some free queso so give me the fajitas please! Did I mention their beef fajitas are amazeballs? To top it off those fab margaritas I was talking about were only $3, yes please! When I stepped on the scale this morning, it kindly reminded me that this is not something I can do all the time. Evidently I gained about a pound and a half of fun last night. Crap!

It was so good having our friends James and Kathy visit. I haven't seen her since Christmas and even though I'll be seeing her more in the next month or so thanks to Bridget's wedding, I'll take some extra Kathy time. They were coming to Houston on the way back to Arlington from New Orleans. They had nothing but fabulous things to say about New Orleans and couldn't stop talking about how much fun they had. I'll admit, I have grown more anxious to visit NOLA over the last year or so. I used to have a not so good opinion of it but after knowing several of my friends who have visited post Katrina, and befriending a NOLA native, my opinion has changed. They had stayed at this haunted B&B on a plantation and were showing us their creepy pics. You know how they say if you take a pic of something and there is an orb its a ghost or spirit? They had some pics that literally looked like it was snowing there were so many orbs! Seriously. They even had a pic of what looks like a guy coming at you. Very creepy! They took a pic of the same thing in the daylight and there is nothing there. Needless to say, I didn't sleep well last night :(

Day 86

Blah its Monday! Now that its summer and B doesn't have to work everyday it is SOOO hard for me to get up in the mornings when he is still sleeping. I sleep a little later which makes me run later and get to work later. Oops.

On a brighter note, my total weight loss now is 7.6 lbs!! Whoo hoo. I forgot to mention earlier when I got home from vacation and weighed myself I fully expected to see some major poundage gained but surprisingly was only 1 pound more! Go me!

I did some serious cleaning this weekend and definately sweated while doing it. Also, its so stinkin hot outside while I was running errands on Saturday I probably sweated out a pound or two. I can't believe its so hot and its not even July yet. I'm kinda scared to see what August is like this year. August in Texas is always ridiculous. I will say though, for some reason when its hot outside, it makes me want to eat less. Nothing worse than feeling hot AND stuffed.

Day 83 TGIF

Forgot to blog yesterday. I did workout Wed. night by the way. I love me some "Get Chisld". I have to admit though, there were a few times I had to take a quick break cause I felt like I was going to just fall down. Amazing what being out of comission for a week can do to a girl!

I didn't workout last night though cause I finally saw Sex and the City 2. I did not have high expectations of it because so many people told me it flat out sucked. I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't the best movie ever by any means but I thought it was pretty funny. I love love love Aidan and was so happy to see him even for a few mins. He is aging well, rawr! This movie confirmed reasons why I never want to visit the UAE, too many rules. I would probably get arrested for walking down the street sideways or something. Like I could ever afford it anyways!

This is a busy weekend for me. I'm shopping for shower decor, mailing invitations, and cleaning my mess of a house for company. That alone might take 2 days!

Day 81 ugh...

Thats right folks I still didn't workout last night. I'm so tired. Even going to bed at my normal bed time again I'm so sleepy when I get up.

Seriously though, tonight I WILL workout.

Day 80 Oopsie

I'm not gonna lie, last night I ate chips and salsa for dinner and did not workout. Oopsie. I was busy last night ordering my bridesmaid dress, trying to finish all our laundry, and attempt to pick up the mess that is my house right now. I know what I'll be doing this weekend. Cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning. Kathy and James are coming to stay with us Monday so at least I have a timeline as to when the house needs to be spotless. Maybe I'll finally workout tonight.

Day 79 Back in the swing of things

Vacation is over and I am back at work-boo :( But man on man am I glad to be back around my own food, and in control! Granted the first few days weren't bad because we stayed with Katie and Dan and we were walking or hiking and eating healtier. But after we headed out for Savannah it was all over from there. Then we were dependent on eating on 3 meals a day, how quickly that can make you feel like crap!

Sunday night we ate outstanding Mexican food and had some ritas, but I went on a long walk that night with Katie around her crazy hilly neighborhood. My butt was thanking me. Monday we went and hiked up Stone Mountain in the morning. Again, my butt was feeling it. That was quite a hike! Then that afternoon we went wine tasting. We earned it. Tuesday we went to the World of Coca Cola and Peidmont Park. Wednesday we headed out to Savannah where we took in Chick Fil-a, pizza, more wine tasting and Paula Deen's all in one day. Oh and some amazing prailines at the candy store. Thats enough to make anyones stomach ache, but have you met my stomach? We don't get along ever. (Well, thats not true. These past few months as I have been eating less carbs my stomach and I have been getting along. I really think its the less carbs means less gluten aspect.) Anywho, Paula Deen's is overrated. Its good but its not amazing and they have people line the streets and come out and ring a dinner bell. I felt like a cow that was being herded to the trough. Needless to say, when insted of dinner rolls a restaurant brings out pancakes and biscuits, you know you arent going to be eating salad! Yeah so...like I said, when you have to eat out 3 meals a day, you def don't want to put on the swim suit and go out in public. Also, people in Hilton Head don't believe in cover ups. Seriously everyone big and small just walked around in their swim suit. One woman even went to the bar at night wearing her swim suit and thats it. Interesting. Its like they are uber confident people.

So today its back on the regular eating schedule and if I can wade through the waves of laundry in my house, maybe even a workout tonight. Sigh.

Day 69

Well last night I had so much to do but still made time to "Get Chisld". I know its bad that I don't do the assigned yoga in P90X. As my friend Meghann puts it, these workouts are building from one another and you aren't following the plan if you make ammendments like that. I know I know. But, I like yoga sometimes, but sometimes I feel that I need more of a workout and want to sweat. So I switch to something else on those days. Sigh. Can't win em all. Again, B is mesmorized by Rebekah Sturkie the instructor. Her body is sick. She must've gotten in crazy shape for that dvd cause even in the others she's in she doesnt look this good. Must be nice. "I'm gonna do a workout dvd soon, I'm gonna drop 10 lbs..." Geez.

Day 68

Whoo! Good news friends- I am now up to 6.6 lbs lost!!! Yaaaayyyy!!! I hope this keeps up. And I even ate Doritos last night, bad. Last night was Back and Biceps, I had never done this one before. I loved it. I like the word "sculpt" and thats pretty much all you do in this workout. Its all about sculpting the "glamour" muscles. Except there is this really annoying girl with a high voice and stupid laugh in this one. She was like making noises and struggling with sets of 15 on 5 lb weights and I'm like bitch I'm using 8 or 12 lb weights doing sets of 18-20 shut your mouth! Tony says if you want big muscles use more weight and aim for 8-10 reps but if you want lean muscle go smaller and shoot for 12-16 reps and make sure you struggle on the last 3,otherwise you need to up your weight.

Day 67

Well when I stepped on the scale this morning I realized I am now .4 lbs away from my goal last week :( Oh well, still .4 lbs lost right? While talking to my mother in law this weekend (who btw has lost 56 lbs)I told her I had lost about 5 lbs and she said "thats good! thats a lot for someone as small as you!" That got me thinking. Do people see me as small? I mean I know I'm short but most around me are not too much taller than me so I definately don't see myself as being small. Not that I understand eating disorders but I do kind of understand how people get body dysmorphia (sp?) I mean you look in the mirror and totally don't see what others see about yourself you know? I see the 17 lbs (now 12 lbs) I've gained since I got married almost 2 years ago. I see it on my arms, my legs, boobs, and most of all my stomach. Sigh. But maybe to other people it only looks like a few pounds.

Last night was Plyo and boy did I have to work to get through that one. Since last week was a "rest" week and didnt require a lot of high impact workouts and then taking a few days off at the lake, I felt a little out of shape. I pushed through it though, sweat and all.

Day 66

Well, evidently this weekend was a success. I was busy during the day so ended up skipping lunch. I thought I would really see some damage since dinner one night consisted of Taco Bell, the next night brisket and carbs, the next night hamburgers and chips, etc. I will say though I get fuller faster these days. I ordered a taco and burrito at Taco Bell Fri night and after the taco I was stuffed. I still ate 1/3 of the burrito but then gave it to B to finish. When I stepped on the scale this morning I was only up a pound. Whew!

I started week 5 of P90X last night and the workout was triceps, shoulders and chest. I HATE this workout. Its boring and your arms are jello mid way through. Blah. I wish I could do the other arm workout instead of this one, but I know its a progression thing.