Chef Ryan?

So I forgot to mention that I got a crap load of cookbooks and kitchen stuff for Christmas this year. Are people trying to tell me something? Seeing as how my very first blog post on this blog was about my resolution a year or 2 ago to cook more...its like a sign or something! My mother in law got me a stand mixer. Probably only gets use a few times a year but well worth it when you need it right? I got a french rolling pin, didnt know those existed. A sifter, cookie cutters, a pastry bag, which I was looking for a few weeks ago when I needed to neatly ice some holiday cupcakes. I also got these gems:

This will come in handy come cookie party time next year!


The woman makes a lasagna in a crockpot! I am dying to know what else I can cut corners on!

This title is so deceiving. I loved Master Your Metabolism by Jillian Michaels and it so isnt even about your metabolism. Its about food. I have taken a huge interest in the foods I'm eating, where they are coming from, whats been done to them, and how its affecting my endocrine system since reading this book last year. So now that theres a cookbook to go with it, I'm all about it! It even tells you what essentials do for your body. I've bought several books on food in the past year and this was by far my favorite and I highly reccomend it if you are curious about the pros and cons of organics, etc. Also, Food Rules, by Michael Pollan is a good one. Its short and sweet and gives you: food rules. Simple things like "eat food, not too much, mostly plants." Makes sense doesn't it? Amazing when you think about how many diseases, cancers, etc there are now compared to back when food was simple and untainted. Pesticides and additives and all the other crap that goes into our food makes it almost unlike the original version. So sad. I'm not saying I don't still love french fries. But in one book someone said, make them yourself and you wont eat them as often because its work. This is true. But, B and I often cut up a sweet potato and make our own fries in the oven. All they get on them is a little olive oil and some seasoning and they bake about 20 mins and they are super tasty!

Dress Me Up

So...my mission for this weekend is to find a dress. A dress that can a) fit my current bod b) I can wear to B's football banquet so dressy but not too dressy and c)that I can possibly wear to one of my baby showers- so a casual dress that can be worn to a banquet. Hmm. I may be setting myself up for failure here but I'm gonna find this unicorn of a dress...I think. I'm hoping for a cute sweater dress. We go to the football banquet every year because they do things fancy here and its held at a hotel where a 4 course meal is served and this happens to be the same hotel that our gala and other events are held at and the food is awesome. So yes please, I would like a free dinner. Also, the football booster club gives every coach, etc a $150 Best Buy gift card. Yes please, I'll take your free gifts! So, its worth giving up 3-4 hrs of my Sunday night I guess.

My 2nd dress predicament is with a bridesmaid dress. The wedding is in September. But for those of you other pro bridesmaids you know they tell you worst case scenario it could take 12 weeks for your dress to come in yadda yadda, when usually it takes 3-4. So the dress needs to be ordered by the end of May. Now, it has to be purchased at this store in Arlington. I won't be around Arlington not pregnant till like June or something. So, at this point, I'm not exactly sure how to order and what size to order. I don't want to guess a size thats 2 sizes bigger and then my boobs get out of control big and it doesnt fit or something. Then again, I dont want to order like 4 sizes bigger and have to have a ton taken in. Hmmm... Of course I'm not going to order till the last minute but even then, if I'm not in Arlington to try on the dress, not sure what size to get.

Christmas goes by so fast!

Man, I always feel like the month of December just flies by but this year it really did. After a few days off and 3 Christmas' I'm still not ready to function back at work. At least I only have 3 days here and then we are off again on Monday. Its looking like I'll be doing a lot of cleaning this weekend.

We tried the 4d sonogram again yesterday-again FAIL. Last time she had her face smashed into the placenta and wouldn't budge. This time she had her hands in her face and after poking and rolling around she wasn't moving them. So, we got a few half face shots but thats about it. We probably wont try again. They do another sonogram at like 36 weeks anyways, scary as it sounds, thats not too far away so I think we'll just wait.

Thats a new one

Well, I already vowed not to discuss my baby's name with co-workers I'm not close to but slipped up the other day when asked if I had decided on a name. Immediately reminded of why I made that vow in the first place when after I told them they replied with "I bet I can think of a better name than that..." Wow.

Why can't bills stop at Christmas?

Well turns out that little scare we had last month that landed me in the hospital for 3 whole hours ended up costing $605!!! That is after the insurance paid their part. Awesome. When is it due? 12/24/10. Yay! $298 of that was a room charge. Lets see for that 3 hrs I watched Grey's Anatomy in an uncomfortable bed. Would've rather paid for a nice room at the 4 Seasons or something!! I don't want to say it was for nothing but geez. So there goes that.

B lost his keys a few months ago and has been using my set. Had a new set made today at the dealership, that was about $50 for the key itself, but for the remote and to program etc it was another $130!!! New car still under warranty but apparantly there was a hose that had a hole in it from when someone fixed the air filter or something previously. Not covered under warranty because it was a "user error" that was about $15 and $40 for the labor. Grrr.

I need this week to go by fast. There is like no one at work this week cause they are all on vacation. I have to save my vacation for maternity leave so no extended time off for me this year till then. I wish Wed were at least a half day. I do have a doc appt that morning though so maybe by the time I get in the rest of the day will fly, positive thoughts!

One month a year isnt enough!

I love Christmas music! I leave my radio on that channel that plays Christmas music all day long (yeah every city has one) and wish that we got to hear these songs more than just one month out of the year! I never seem to get sick of these songs even if its the 3rd time that day I've heard it. There is that station that does Christmas in July for like a week but its just not the same. Christmas music is associated with sweaters, and decor, and hot chocolate in my head, not sweating and it being 103 outside.

I've also come to the conclusion that you don't have to have a good voice to sing Santa Baby. In fact, that song seems to have a novelty to it, like the dopier you can make your voice the better. Honestly, I could see Quinn from Glee singing that one perfectly. Her voice isn't great and it just fits.

I'm super excited about Christmas this year. Only one week left till we get to start the celebrating! It was kind of hard for me to come up with things I wanted this year. It was all mundane stuff. I did ask for some Coach gift cards though cause I am IN LOVE with this one bag thats freakin gorgeous.

Traditions

Well this was year 13 for our annual cookie party this year. Yep, 13 years. The first year was horrendous, duh we were like 14 what did we know about baking and or decorating cookies? Can't say we haven't had some other fails over the years. This year Brandon and I tried to pre-make his mom's sugar cookie recipe and refridgerate it so it would be already made by the time the girls were here. Fail. It never really got doughy. It looked like cake batter and tasted floury. Not sure what went wrong there. Bridget attempted her fudge this year (that shes made before) but wrong ingredients or something prevented this from being a success. 2 batches of fudge and none really edible. I was so looking forward to that too. But one new thing this year we did try was the mint choc chip cookies. Using the creme de menthe baking chips (a snack in itself). Those came out nicely. Needless to say, theres a lot of cookies at my house right now. Even after I sent a lot home with others.

Burning Love

Heartburn-EVERY day ugh!!! It's getting old. Everything sets it off it seems. Oddly enough sometimes spicy food does NOT. But anything else, anything bread, cokes, meat, ranch dressing, you name it. I try not to exceed 3 tums a day but man, its hard some days. It doesnt wake me up every night but there are def times I get up anyways to use the restroom and I can feel it.

Not to mention anything red gives me heartburn, but thats pre-pregnancy. I think I'm allergic to Red 40 dye they put in everything. I can't drink any kind of red drink, fruit punch, gatorade, etc without getting heartburn. Needless to say I'm stoked about the glucose test I do next week at the doc. What flavor drink did they give me? You guessed it: fruit punch :(

Coming soon in 4D!!!

Not really sure what the difference is in 3 and 4 D but in another 2 weeks I'll get to see my baby in 4D! I've only ever heard of 4D when talking about sonograms so, I dunno. It's still mind blowing to me how much they are developed so early on. Like looking at her 12 week sonogram pics and her 20 week sonogram pics, its like wow, they already look like that? So I'm very curious to see details of her face. I'm 99% sure she has hair (cause shes my kid and I was born with a ton of hair) but maybe we'll catch a glimpse of some floating in the...fluid? And if that old wives tale about heartburn being associated with hair is true then she will have a ton of hair! Anywho, I'm anxious to see her again.

Picky

This sounds terrible but I'm just being honest: some babies I've seen lately are not cute. I know to the parent they are perfect and the cutest kid ever but if the first word that comes to my mind is "oh" followed by "look at that" or something similar, the word cute doesnt follow. Yes my friend and I determined that a long time ago. If someone looks at a baby and points out the obvious like "look at you!....look at that outfit!" they are just being nice and avoiding telling you its cute. I have a cousin that has a baby that looks nothing like her, rather but exactly like the low life dad who's currently in prison. Again, cute, doesnt come to mind. I know I know, not everyone will think my kid is cute but I'm sure I will. My co-worker tells me to talk to my stomach and say all the things I want her to have, looks, personality traits, etc. She rubs her belly (she's pregnant too) and says "I want you to have your daddys teeth but my hair..." etc.

Merry Christmas-Happy Holidays

I won the Nsync Christmas cd yesterday at our work holiday party so that song is stuck in my head! I still like it though. We got a nice chunk of Christmas shopping done last weekend while out with my sister and Austen so thats nice. The tree has been up and decorated for about 12 hrs now and Bobcat has already climbed in it several times and taken off 6 ornaments. Bob just loves decorating so much, he wants to do it all over again everyday, hence him taking them off. As if I'm not already getting up in the middle of the night enough, when he starts batting them around the kitchen floor at 3am it makes me mad. He got put into solitary confinement this morning around 4am cause I had to get up twice in like 5 mins to take them away from him. Grr. I think its gonna be a long month.

Pregnant Brain

Well, its finally kicked in. The phenom they call "pregnant brain." I left my car keys in the fridge the other day. A week or 2 ago I decided that instead of putting the trail mix back in the pantry, it would just go better in the fridge. B noticed and asked me to get the milk out for him. Seeing as how it was dinner time I found that an odd request. So I look and sure enough, big bag of trail mix! Ay. And now, I can't remember my pin # for my card. I was using it yesterday to pay at the eye doc office and I just went blank. It hadn't returned to me by the time I went to Kroger last night either. I keep trying to picture myself punching in the numbers but I can't remember! I've had it for years and it just dissapeared! I hope it doesn't get too much worse, or more frequent. I don't like this feeling :(

Side note: the reason I was at the eye doc is because I've been having issues with my left eye for about 3 weeks now. It got really red, then would clear up for a day or two then get red again. So, now the doc said that because you can get dry eye and stuff when pregnant that mixed with the problem I have I need some strong steroid eye drops to fight it off and leave my contacts out for a whole week. She also suggested I consider switching to daily contacts for the remainder of my pregnancy. Um yeah, I just bought a years worth of contacts about 6 weeks ago, I dont want to spend even more money on them!

Piddle Princess

I've decided to make the most of my many, many daily trips to the bathroom while at work. I brought along my 2 pound hand weights to get my arms moving with. Again, it may only be a 30 sec trek down and another 30 sec back but, hey its something. Not to mention with these bad boys on my desk, I might just be motivated to pick them up throughout the day and perhaps do some other things with them! (Thats the plan, we'll see I guess.)

On an un-piddle related note-I'm working on my Christmas list. I have yet to buy a thing for anyone and I need to get on it. It's amazing while trying to budget how much we are spending this year, to see that with just immediate family its still going to cost a bunch! Geez. I hope Old Navy has some cute little boy clothes cause Anden needs some winter clothes! Plus I'm educating myself on what kids play with when they are babies. Like for Parker, I was at the store the other day looking at toys going "um what do 1 yr olds play with?" Thank goodness for gift receipts right?

The Thing

Its so strange to feel (and sometimes see) all the crazy movements going on in my stomach right now. One minute its the top right and 5 minutes later its happening in the lower center. And for kicks (haha) these past 2 days or so she's been doing a little dance right on my bladder and it gives this odd stirring feeling and actually almost hurts a little. She thinks its funny to see how many times I can go to the bathroom in one day. Yesterday we went to register and I went right before I left work and started the long 10 minute trek down the street. As soon as we get there I go again and about 10 mins later, the stirring begins. Not cool! Not to mention I'm super paranoid lately about getting a UTI.

Do you Black Friday?

So B's team lost so no more football! Kind of embarassing for them to get knocked out so soon in the play offs but yay!! Now we don't have to worry about a short trip home.

Now, we are trying to decide if we want to get out on Black Friday this year. There normally aren't too many enticing deals so its not really even a thought but this year they roped us in! So...we are deciding if we should or not. We did decide though that if we do participate in the craziness, the best strategy would be to go to sleep early and sleep for a bit then get up and go rather than just staying awake. We are kind of old people about it and agreed that it would just mess up our sleep schedule for the days to follow and we don't want to do that lol. How sad.

There's no place like home for the holidays...

If we even get to go :( A definate downside to B's job is playoffs. You win you keep playing, you loose you're done. Unfortunately, football season spills right over into Thanksgiving, if you're in the playoffs. This school goes to the playoffs in every sport so this is no surprise. They will even have a practice Thanksgiving morning if they play that week which to me is ridiculous. Whats that one practice going to do? UIL really needs to mandate this playing during that week crap. Grr. So..we may be home for a day and a half rather than 4-5 days. Boo. If course we won't know this till the end of the week before. Double boo.

Last weekend my mother in law asked us if there is anything about Thanksgiving we would like to add or see go. We immediately thought: wine! Again, our families don't ever have alcohol at family gatherings so it might be time to spruce it up! It seems that everyone else's family has something and it helps everyone chill out. And the conversations might go deeper than "so how is everything since I saw you last Thanksgiving?" Again, we don't mean lets tap a keg, we just mean a few bottles of wine for whoever wants to partake. Of course this year I can't. Oh well, if this is successful there will be many more!

Scary Night

So...this weekend we were out of town, we went home to DFW. Saturday afternoon my chest and back were bothering me and it seemed to get worse if I ate. I didn't finish my dinner Saturday night or my lunch on Sunday because it just hurt. So I figured it was gas related. On the drive home yesterday I was hurting still. We got home at like 7:30pm and I felt a little better but noticed I was spotting. It wasn't a lot or dark in color so I wasn't too concerned but of course went straight to the internet to read up on if this was common. Some people said yes as long as you still felt movement there probably wasn't too much cause for concern. So then I started thinking, the last time I felt her move was like 3pm that day. I laid down in a few different positions for awhile to see if I could feel anything and I didn't. The next few times I went to the bathroom I noticed a little more and then I saw bright red. Now I'm freaked out! So I call the on call doc and he says to go to the ER to get checked out.

Now its 10:30pm and we are headed to the ER. When you are over 20 weeks pregnant they automatically admit you to straight to Labor & Delivery. The nurse puts me in a wheel chair and races me across the hospital. This does not help my nerves! So we get there and they check me out, do an exam, hook me up to monitors to see if I'm having any contractions. 2 nurses said that this is common with a UTI and it can cause bleeding. I have had to pee a lot lately but I thought it was part of the game so didn't think that it might be something else. So I spend a few hours laying there watching Grey's reruns while they send my stuff off to the lab etc. Turns out, it was nothing. Not even a UTI. Everything was fine. I'm happy to hear this news but then frustrated because WHY did that happen in the first place? Will it happen again? They said if it does to come back. I have a follow up with my doc tomorrow, maybe she can give me some more insight.

We got home close to 2am and we were both dead tired. I came in to work at 10am today so I could at least get some decent amount of sleep. Poor B toughed it out and went in at regular time. He'll be asleep by 8pm tonight I'm sure! Today I'm fine, no back aches, no bleeding. That was so random.

I can turn Mean Girl

I feel kind of lucky at my job in that when we hire someone, first my boss interviews them initially, then if they are good brings them back to meet the team for a group interview and then we decide as a team who to hire. I'm sure not many non manager people out there get that kind of privalege. I feel like I kind of turn mean during this group interview though. I probably shouldn't be that way because some day it will again be my turn to go through an interview and I wouldn't want people to treat me like that. But something clicks and I feel that its my duty to expose any bs they might be trying sell us lol. We all do it, find big words to substitute for minute duties, etc. I guess I'm still so pissed that we hired the old new girl and all the crap she told us that she could do or has done and it turned out to be bs! I'm still not sure how she managed to put one foot in front of the other everyday much less use a computer. So I'm determined to not have this happen again. I want a competent, normal, intelligent assistant this time! But I need to be more mindful of interviewing karma. Sigh...

Seriously?!

I feel like this has become the bitching blog. Sorry, I don't want to bitch everytime I blog but I am still daily truly appalled by some things people say. So...I've been a little hesitant in telling everyone the name I think we've chosen for our baby because frankly I don't want to hear their opinions. And like I've said before people can't seem to not tell you how many people they know with that name etc. So I really just want to avoid those conversations. And you know if its not immediately followed up by a comment like "oh thats cute" or something they put on this sour face that tells you they don't like it. Not that I care if you like it, but can you please try to control your look of disgust? Also, and this is a "well duh" statement but I guess some people forget, that different cultures, races, etc like different names. So when you tell me you are naming your daughter Esperanza do I make a face? No!

Case and point: a co-worker asked me and I told her and she said "no!" It wasn't a "no, I wanted to use that name..." or anything like that cause she already has kids, it was just an outright "no". HOW are you going to tell someone no? Now I totally get why an old co-worker didn't want to tell anyone the name they chose until it was born. I'm not keeping it top secret information or anything. Certain people know. I just figure for that very reason I don't think I'll be announcing it to the world.

Grrr

I know people always talk about the atrocious things people say to them when they're pregnant. I realize some of this comes from them not knowing what to say except their own experiences, nervousness, or flat out not having a filter. My poor friend got told she looked like a pumpkin today cause she was wearing an orange scarf and happens to be pregnant. The other day a lady at work asked how far along I was and I said almost 21 weeks and she said "you are carrying it all in your hips" thanks I guess.

It's a girl- but easy on the pink!

So I've been thinking these last few weeks it was a girl just because people stare right at my hips and say "oh yeah its a girl." I'm like really cause I've always carried my weight in my hips and thighs. I almost wanted it to be a boy more just so I could say "See! " I was kind of shocked when she said girl even though I thought it was one. I think maybe its just more the reality of knowing what it is period rather than just thinking its a baby- its a baby girl. Everyone's first question: "are you gonna buy lots of pink stuff?" I'm sure we will get pink stuff from people and thats fine, but the nursery will not be pink, no pink strollers, etc.

We have had a name thats been our front runner for some time now and nothing really has come up that we liked more. I can feel this name being right, I love this name, the sound, the look, the whole shebang. So we're 95% sure thats what it will be, but I'm hesitant to tell the world just yet. Plus, I'm really not in the mood to hear "oh yeah my sister in laws brother just named his kid that..." etc. Its not 100%original I know this, but when I think of it, I think of it as mine so please just let me have that!

On a side note, a lot has been happening in my stomach these past few weeks. We've gone from not feeling a thing a month ago to feeling it a lot in the past week or 2. Brandon is still uncertain as to whether or not he feels a stomach rumble or her moving. I told him its probably her. I guess we might have to wait till they get a little bigger for him to know for sure. I made sure I had the ultrasound lady tell me exactly where things were so I knew exactly what was touching me. I usually feel movement in the same spot and of course thats where the feet are so I'm getting kicked repeatedly.

So now we can finally go register but I'm honestly not in any hurry lol. I was chomping at the bit to register for our wedding but this time its different. Its so overwhelming! There is just so much stuff!! So I personally would rather go on a week night or something to avoid mass crowds and bare shelves. I don't need being irritated by too many people and the store being picked over to add to the stress.

Oh tummy

I am exhausted from this weekend even though in hindsight I really didn't do much. My stomach is like ok enough because I have eaten out a lot this past week. On Wed we did a goodbye lunch at Pei Wei for the new girl. I had never been to Pei Wei but was excited to see they offered gluten free sweet and sour chicken. It was yummy. I feel that I have been eating more Asian food since I've been pregnant than ever before. Not that I didn't like it before but I'll take Mexican anytime. Lately, it hasnt been that way though.

I had Thursday and Friday off so Thursday morning I met a friend for breakfast at Cracker Barrel. I think its been 10 years since I've eaten there but they had a apple streusel french toast that was to die for. Sooo good. I want it again. Thursday night a friend came into town and we went with B to try 5 Guys which was voted like the best burger in the country. Overrated. And not cheap. For 2 burgers and an order of fries and 2 drinks it was $18. I like Chapps better. Oh Chapps, how I miss you so.... Friday we went to this outlet mall that everyone always wants to go to when they visit here. While we were out we ate Wendy's. Then Saturday night B and I were out running errands and just happened to be by a Pei Wei so we ate there. I know, thats a lot of sodium for 1 week. Oops. I did not eat out at all yesterday though, for one its seriously added up these last few days and 2, I'm sure my baby needs better food. So last night we ate some chicken, with gluten free penne and organic pasta sauce.

For those of you looking for a reasonable organic spaghetti sauce, Kroger has it. It was a large jar and only $2.99. Even at Walmart most of the organic sauces are $6-8 so this was a steal! They also have a better selection of gluten free pastas as well. Most places only carry gluten free angel hair pasta or spaghetti.

I also need to watch it on the Halloween candy this week. Candy is such a rip off. Its definately cheaper to buy a bag of 120 pieces (of the good stuff) for $9.98 at Sam's then to buy a 70 piece bag for the same price at Target. And those 2 for $5 deals aren't great either. Those bags have like 30 pieces in it. I did see at the grocery store this weekend you could buy a large bag of individually bagged baby carrots for trick-or-treaters. While thats a nice idea for your kids lunch, do you really want to be known as the house that hands out baby carrots?

Waiting waiting....

7 days from now we will find out what we are having! This anticipation is driving me nuts!! I've had a chance to spend some time with kids around the same age recently and see how differently they act. I'm praying for a laid back, sweet, and fun kid. Not a whiney, bratty kid. I realize part of that is parenting. I hope I do well!

So frustrated!!!

I'm sure if you have been anywhere near me in the past few months you have heard me talk about our completely retarded assistant. She never does anything right and I end up doing EVERYTHING myself. I have also had to take on about 3 times more work than normal because she can't do anything. She is already getting let go in a few weeks but I wish she could just go now. You literally have to tell her every. little.thing. I do the tax statements for donors and because I am busy with 10 million other things I gave her the letters and corresponding envelopes to stuff and get in the mail by 11:15am yesterday. I attached a note that said "these need to be in the mail by 11" So today, again I give her several piles of letters but no note. So now its 11:50am and they are still sitting in her box. Seriously?! I assumed she would assume they have the same time urgency on them as the ones yesterday. OMG!!! But you know what she is doing right now? Testing for another job. She's been working on that for awhile now but I put those in her box at 10am thinking she would have them done on time but no, she's taking tests.

Old Wives Tales

Man do people love to tell these to me! Of course I've heard its in how you carry it. Well, for those who don't have much going on yet, we don't know how we carry it! And truthfully, I'm sure its really all about how strong your ab muscles are. I've heard "dangle a necklace over your stomach" well, we did this just for kicks and when I held it, it went one way and when B held it it went another so...theres that. Hispanic women are the best at these. They have 50 million ways to tell lol. If you feel it move at 12 weeks its this, if not its this. Today a lady I think I work with, I dunno I've never seen her before told me that if the due date is closer to B's birthday then its a girl, if its closer to my birthday then its a boy. Thats a new one! Someone else keeps telling me to go buy a gender predictor at Walgreens for $50. Why would I do that? I wouldn't trust it 100% and if thats the case, I can pay $75 to have a gender identification test done at the doc. At least then I'd know it was true. B doesnt want to get that because his thing is "they're gonna tell us eventually anyways why pay for it?" I get that. Plus, there is no guarantee that we would see what we want to see that day, and if you can't you still pay so...boo.

"Big"

Not sure if I like this word. Today a co-worker said "you're looking bigger." Now I know how she meant this as in, you look pregnant not you look fat. But, "big" can be a harsh word. And while I realize I probably am a little bigger in the belly, this jacket is kind of loose and I look like this even when I wasn't pregnant and wore it so, hmph. Ah, I'm sure there are many more not meant to be rude but rude comments people will make to me. Can't wait :(

Where are you Ziggy?

I call our baby Zygote, or little Zy for now since we don't know what it is. B calls it Ziggy lol. I went to the doc today and she was checking the heartbeat and she asked if I had felt it move yet. I said no and she said "well its moving around like crazy!" Hmm. She said I should feel it any day now if not already. I know since I have no experience with this stuff, I am not sure what I'm looking for. Most people say flutters. How do I know if its flutters or my food moving around? Now I'm going to really pay more attention when I'm being still. Maybe I'll feel little Zy soon. In the meantime, we will find out with exactly little Zy is Oct. 26th. Its going to be a looong 4 weeks!! At least we know its not a baby bear or anything. Come on happy, healthy baby!!

Up, Down, Up, Down

My weight that is! I realize now how my current body is super sensitive to sodium and water weight. One day I might weigh as much as 3-4 lbs more! That seriously freaked me out at first. I would really like to stay on track for a 25-30 pound gain not a 40 pound gain. I know a lot of you are like yeah whatever get over it. So far in 16 weeks I've gained 9 pounds. I really can't even imagine being like 20 pounds heavier than now. Scary!

Will I miss my trickle?

So...I know I'm weird but whatever, I'm sure other people have had stranger questions. Something I've always noticed in public restrooms is how different strangers peeing sounds from my own. Like mine sounds like you were pouring a water bottle of water into the toilet. A nice steady streaming sound. Some people sound like you dumped a whole pitcher of water in there at once. Some sound like when you put your thumb over the end of the water hose and it kind of blocks some, kind of an explosive sound. So here's my question: is that because they've had kids? Is that something to "look forward" to? One of the many fun things about your changing situation down there? Cause I don't want to lose my trickle sound. The others scare me.

Oh my

I just read an article on the newspapers website that said the cost of a child born today to attend public university was $175,000!!! How is that possible? Is the price of gas going to be $8.99 a gallon by then too? Are movie ticket prices going to be $16 each? I know prices continue to rise on things but geez. That number just seems outrageous!!!

The thank you note is a lost art

I've said it many times, I still believe in the "thank you" note. I know I'm not the only one either! People don't seem to understand how important those little things are. I still send them to people who I've interviewed with, to people who gave me gifts, who did random things for me. Hell, my new job is sending thank you notes! Well they are tax statements/thank you letters. I send "thank you's" for a living! To me, if you don't send one, it gives off the impression that you are lazy. Sorry its true. I know a few people who gave themselves the "year" that supposedly you have to send out your wedding thank you's and that year turned into more than that, and believe me some people said a year later, "you know I never did get a thank you from so and so...." Yeah people remember that. And who made up the timelines for gift thank you's anyways? I say 6-8 weeks tops, whether its a baby shower gift, wedding gift, whatever. After that, it becomes irrelevant.

I'm gonna need to speak to someone...

I guess I was forgetting how much work a baby can be. We had some guests come visit this weekend with an 11 month old and oh my. She isn't walking yet but she holds onto the coffee table and moves around it. If she isn't hungry, she's teething, or sleepy, or has a fever, or an ear ache, etc. Wow. It really hit me that we will be responsible for a person 24/7 for the next few years. I'm scared. And going anywhere? What an ordeal! Diaper bags, strollers, bottles, temp placemats for restaurants, little dishes of baby cheetos and yogurt bites, toys, a stroller, the car seat.....I guess I'm glad I got to see first hand that even at 11 months its still an ordeal.

Good News!

It wasn't a stretch mark! Whoo hoo! Not sure what it was, a weird indention from my shirt or something? When I got home I started looking for it and looking closely and it wasn't there. Not to say they won't come later, but I am NOT ready for that yet! I know I know you're saying "how vain are you?" its my first time doing this cut me some slack!

Stretch Armstrong?

Oh no oh no oh no! I think I have a stretch mark on my side!! Yeah on my side, what the heck?! Its like a 5 inch long grayish color. Maybe I was just laying weird or something. But what if it is?! I already kind of had a belly so I was hoping you know things weren't showing for awhile and people would realize I just stopped sucking in all the time. My skin really hasnt had to stretch much yet. Oh no. I hope there aren't more to come. And if they do come, please dont let them be red. I already had a few on my boobs cause those obviously got bigger faster but they are like pearly white. Oh no!

Dancing with your sort of there belly

What a sight! My sister gave me these pregnancy work out dvd's and so far I have only done the cardio one and man does it make you sweat! I feel super stupid doing the Merengue, Salsa, and belly dancing but at least no one else has to watch. Its a 30 min dvd with 5 min intervals of different dancing. The instructor is a blonde who thinks she knows Spanish and thinks she an expert on Latin dancing. Or so she acts. Its hoaky but at least it gets me moving. Not sure what this will look like when there is a serious belly down the road. Yikes. Steer clear! I really do need to workout more than once a week but I just am so tired :( Now that we are entering phase 2 maybe it will get better. I keep hearing this is the "fun" trimester. We'll see...

Excuse me nurse?

So...WHY when you call a doctors office does it take hours and maybe even days to get a call back? If its because the doc only has 2 nurses and they take turns making calls, why isn't there a phone nurse? A person who answers phone calls and is a nurse so they know what they are saying is legit? Thats not in the budget? Well make it!! I hate calling and waiting a majority of the day to get a flippin call back. Grr. Right now I'm waiting on 2 things: 1) My insurance company is telling me I have to give this Clinical Policy print out (thats 40 pages long) to my doc and then she can decifer if the insurance company will cover these "genetic tests" we're going to be doing. My question is, since I know they know how to code things and make insurance cover it anyways, do they really need me to print out all 40 pages and bring this? Do they really need it at all? Surely there are plenty of folks with this insurance. Also, evidently you have to pay for your baby by 28 weeks? Never have I heard this before I guess its something people dont talk about. They give you a break down of what a normal birth will cost and you get to pay for it by then...so I'm still waiting on this. Does it come in the mail? Do they give it to me in the office? I would like to know soon since basically that means by December this has to be taken care of and that could possibly mean like $500 a month between now and then. Pushing my much needed new car even further away :(

Oh the side affects

Blah, last night after pretty much having an all carb dinner, I realized why it sucks so bad: the way you feel afterwards. :( Yeah...since carbs make your blood sugar spike and that feels terrible. I felt sluggish and just all over gross. Protein it is. But I did convince B that this weekend we needed to make his mom's loaded mashed potatoes-score!

On another note: I FINALLY get to meet my nephew today!! My sister, Austen and baby Anden are staying with us tonight and I can't wait!! I'm gonna squish that baby and squeeze him!!

I'm made of carbs

I'm not sure if its because in the months before being pregnant I carbed down and ate less of them or if its just because everything excellent has tons of carbs but I want carbs!!! A huge plate of that Country Crock ready to make mashed potatoes (I know right lazy), the garlic cheddar kind or whatever its called. Also this weekend at the store I wanted macarroni and cheese but I didn't buy any. Idiot! So yeah load me up a big plate of mac and cheese and potatoes, and a side of cupcakes and you'll see a happy girl! Still on target with the weight gain. (Ha, funny isn't it, this blog has been about weight loss for a few months but not anymore!) I didn't want to gain more than 5 lbs the first trimester because they said its supposed to be 2-4 lbs so I wanted to be sure I stayed with that. I am getting a little better about working out more. I have just been so tired its hard to get yourself going at night to workout. Last night I did the FIRM's Hi Def Sculpt, one of my favs. Man is my back hurting today. I really do need to strengthen my back since I already have a bad back and I don't think adding weight to it will improve anything :(

Weeds

Do you watch Weeds? I love it, I heard about it from a few people and always heard it was funny. The new season starts tonight and I am stoked. There are so many shows I wish I watched. This was always one of them. I found seasons 1 and 2 on sale for cheap so we bought them to give them a whirl and found it to be hilarious. Even if you have no interest in the drug part of it, the show itself is still funny. A lot of people can't seem to get past the title and that yes, weed plays a huge role in the show but not in the way you think. This isn't some stupid show that is like those gay movies about getting high. Trust me, I don't watch those movies, I don't think they are funny at all. So in about 4 months we got caught up on 5 seasons of this show and now season 6 starts tonight yay! This is also a show that totally changes from season to season. They aren't where they started at all and the characters seriously evolve. Which is nice since so many shows you can look at season 4 and they are still doing/talking about the same issues as the first season. I wish I also watched Dexter. I hear great things about that show. Maybe I can catch up on that one next summer.

I found a magical store!

So of course I've heard about this store before but never had a reason to go there but my friend Ashley took me last night to: Motherhood Maternity store. This would have been helpful when I was going nuts last weekend trying to find some new bras. I always wear VS bras but they are pricey and since I'm not sure how long I'll be this size I didn't want to commit. Target's bras didnt fit right. I was out of options. Behold: Motherhood. They had bras and they were less than $20! Also last weekend I was looking for some shirts. Not maternity shirts just maybe a shirt that I could wear in these next few awkward months. Because I've realized most of my shirts are fitted and that won't be fun in the in between stages. So I go into all the regular stores and either find super ugly things or its "do I really want to pay $20 for a solid t-shirt?" thoughts. Well guess who has cute shirts?! You guessed it. So then Ashley wanted me to try on some pants with the belly. They keep strap on bellys in the dressing rooms so you can judge your clothes, wow! Talk about overwhelming. Thankfully the sales girl was nice and explained that you buy stuff that fits you then, dont get them bigger thinking you'll grow into it. You buy what fits and it will stretch. Good to know! That belly was scary, especially from the side. It was like "wow, seriously this is what happens?!" Exciting, scary, all of the above. I'm just glad I now know the secret to moderatley priced decent preggo clothes!

The latest news

So I think pretty much everyone knows now that we are expecting a baby. Whoo! The news is out. Its exciting and scary. I never really even thought about how my pregnancy would impact others. Evidently it did, and tears were shed. Some cried happy tears and others cried sad tears, for themselves not me. Whirlwind I tell ya. I have not really had morning sickness. There have been times I've felt like throwing up for sure. That hasn't happened in a few weeks (knock on wood) so maybe now we're out of the woods on that one. I have had some cravings though. In the beginning it was bananas, anything with bananas. That quickly passed. I used to eat eggs everyday for breakfast then I felt repulsed by them. Then I realized it was more the bell peppers I used to put in the eggs that I was repulsed by. So eggs are ok again. I do love bagels and peanut butter though. I really eat a lot of fruit, I've found it also seems to keep the afternoon bloating away also. I look in the mirror at least once a day and the word "gross" comes to mind. I've been told once I start feeling movement and getting rounder the word gross will be replaced with "wow". We'll see about that I guess. So far I've gained about 4 pounds and I really hope to make it out of the first trimester without gaining more than 5! 2 weeks to go on that one. Fingers crossed.

Listen Old Man

I am highly irritated already this morning and its only 9am! This old man in the office next to me is super sweet and will talk your ear off if you talk to him so I sort of just try to avoid him at all costs. He is like 67 and has hearing problems. You have to say his name like 8 times if you want his attention. So of course he talks louder too. This sucks when he makes personal calls to his doctor, etc. Because on more than one occasion he has called to make an appointment to get his ear wax build up removed. Sigh. Then he goes into detail about it, I'm sure the person on the other end at the dr.'s office is like "um sir yes we know what ear wax is..." He acts like its an emergency too. "I need to get in as soon as possible please!" Maybe this is another glorious thing I'll get to experience someday as I age but ew. He also has the loudest chair in the history of office chairs. He can't just quietly glide from one side of his office to another no no. Instead its this violent and loud horrible noise and it drives me insane!!! I am this close to going in there and kicking it. One of these days I'm going to replace it. I wonder if he'll notice...

Dinner Plans

You might think its sad that I have had my dinner plans for tomorrow night laid out for weeks now. But oh well! Tomorrow is National Cheesecake Day and that means the overly priced Cheesecake Factory is doing any slice half price. Thats right folks. So for weeks now I've been thinking about how wonderful the cajun pasta is going to be in my mouth and then following it up with some red velvet cheesecake. Oh my. I am drooling. The awesome thing about Cheesecake Factory is that their meals are SO big, its 2 meals. Thank you to go boxes I will eat you again on Saturday. So yeah our plan is to go eat at like 5pm to beat the crowds. The one by our house is ALWAYS a madhouse so I'm really hoping that will even help.

You never sausage a thing!!

Well Anden is a little turd and decided to wait till Aunt Ryan came back to Houston before joining the world. 7 days late but he made it. It will be a few weeks before I can get back up there to see him, grr. I hate being the last one to do/see things. He was only 6 lbs but has a big head. He looks a little like a sausage and a little old man lol.

He is getting his newborn pics done this weekend and I can't wait to see them!

Let's Go Chop Chop!!

Babies def don't listen. But thats what I really want to say to Anden. Lets go chop chop!! Yesterday was his official due date and Meagan goes back today to get hooked up to monitors to see how his hearbeat and stuff are. She is really hoping they will see that he is squished and need to come out. She said he has finally dropped, so he's slowly getting the picture. I'm still rather amazed, disgusted, shocked, etc about the whole child birth process. Amazing what the female body is capable of. And really scary to think about!

So this weekend I didn't have anywhere to be or anything to do for once! It was great. I "slept in" till 8 both Saturday and Sunday. We went running errands and rented a movie Saturday and Sunday just cleaned the house.

I'm going to have to find something to do with myself here pretty soon since B will be heading back to work. Fridays will need to be filled with something. Maybe I really should finish my honeymoon scrapbook.

Give thanks for spanx

I'm on the hunt for spanx today. I need a little smoothing action under my dress next week. I haven't had to buy any in a few years but man, their products just keep evolving and getting better! They have everything you can think of as far as modern day girdles go! Lol. My dress is fitted so I am just looking for the tummy sucker-in-er and thigh slimmer one this time. VS has a new contraption I forgot the name of it but its like a super tight fitted under garment dress with straps but has no bra part to it. Its supposed to come just under your boobs and give you a huge lift. Since my dress is kind of halterish and high necked, I don't think that will be the best bet this time around. But any other time I would certainly appreciate the boost. Sarah Blakely is a genius!!

It's only Thursday

Ramblings...

I guess because last week we had Monday off for the 4th so it was a short week and now I'm off cause I woke up thinking "finally its Friday!" But no, its only Thursday :(

I had several dreams about Anden last night. I know my mom has been dreaming about him too so maybe that means he's on his way! Meagan has been trying to use her pump and eat spicy foods to coerce him to get on the road.

My weight hasn't changed lately. I've maintained my 7ish pounds lost but I havent worked out in awhile :( I have been SO tired lately. I seriously need to get it in gear.

Dear Anden

Please come out by Monday. Your mom is really bored and miserable. We all want to see your squishy face. It's also really hard to schedule your newborn pics when we have no idea when you will be here. So get to work on that and I'll see you soon!

Love,
your aunt Ryan

Where Did The Summer Go :(

Seriously, its already mid July!! I'm always looking ahead and am looking forward to things to come. Next weekend will be the last event I was looking forward to this summer. I guess I just get to enjoy August, even though in Texas its def the most miserable month. Boo.

T-6 days till baby Anden's arrival, possibly. She goes again today to the doctor to see if she is progressing and she is praying they just tell her they will induce her in these next few days. I hear thats what you don't want to do but, I guess with her, her blood pressure has been high these last few weeks and they don't play when it comes to blood pressure.

Come on Anden, I really need you here by next weekend so I can spend some time with you!

Whirlwind Weekend

Oh my I am exhausted. This weekend was sooo busy. Saturday morning was Bridget's bridal shower brunch. She got lots of fun stuff and the mimosas were a hit! So then it was off to get ready for the bachelorette party. Bridget's man works for Marriott so we got a sweet deal on a hotel room in Grapevine. My part was $7.14! So yeah we all met up there to drop our stuff then headed over to Main st. to my favorite winery Su Vino for their wine tastings. We were going to go to another place but we were running late so we decided to go ahead and do dinner at Esparaza's, which if you haven't been is really good. I have to say usually at Esparza's on a Saturday night there is no parking, and at least an hour wait but we didn't have any problems at all and had like a 10 min wait. Nice. So Bridget showed her lingerie to the whole restaurant lol. She got lots of cute stuff, I know she is excited. I guess its to be expected when you open gifts like that in a public place but there were some seriously creepy onlookers. So then we went to the Glass Cactus at the Gaylord. I've been to the Gaylord plenty of times but never to the Glass Cactus it was a lot of fun! Its really nice. A little older crowd than downtowns bars but I think we actually felt more comfortable with that since we aren't 22 anymore! We didnt get to bed till after 3:30am and I got like 4-5 hours of off and on sleep. I had to leave early since I had to drive back to the lake to get Brandon and all our stuff then we both headed home. Thats all I do anymore is drive drive drive. So boring!! BTW, my countdown to baby Anden (my nephew) has commenced. T-7 days!!

Its break time

I am going to be taking a much needed break from showers for awhile. No more hosting, co-hosting, planning, etc. I feel that I've been doing it non-stop for the past year and I am worn out. Stop having babies would ya! I will say though my latest is a wedding shower. The worst part about showers is the games. No one likes these. But its neccesary to break up time and sometimes break the ice. They are all so cheesy though. I'm having a hard time with that part. Sigh. Plus I don't want the bride to feel jipped of cheesy shower games, since its something that is done at all showers. Why should theirs be any different?

I have a busy night ahead of me. I'm going to get my hair did. I love love love Michelle who does my hair. She's close to my age and we just rattle on about everything. Thats something I look for in a hair stylist, someone who likes to chat. Cause there have been times that I have had to sit in silence the whole hour and I was miserable. Boo. I will be shopping for my part of the shower food, supplies, etc. I have to do laundry, find something to wear to both the shower and bachelorette party. Thats the hardest part.

Did I miss the memo?

Is blogging over and no one told me? Like no one on my blog list has made a peep in like a week! And some its been months! Did it become unpopular? I know it comes and goes, I had a blog a few years ago when it first came out. Just wondering if I missed something and everyone is onto the next cool thing now...

I went to the doc today. Always a pleasure :( Kinda pissed me off that all I got done today was blood drawn. At least I didn't have to pay. One time last year I went for a blood pressure check up and literally all they did was take my bp and it was like $30 for the co-pay. I was like whaaat?!

By the way, if you haven't seen Eclipse yet, you need to drop what you're doing and go now!! I was soooo happy with it. It stayed pretty true to the book in my opinion. And thankfully the Cullen's had more than 2 lines. Its about time! I thought this one was 10 times better than the first 2 and thats pretty rare for the 3rd of a group to be that good you know?

It's officially official

Well, after emailing one of the trainers yesterday B found out they offered the job to some chick from a Waco high school. Thanks for letting us know I guess! Geez, had he not asked about it they just would've gone on and never called to let him know to stop hoping. Grr. So now its trying to get used to things staying the same for another year. I know pity party for 1 please. I might stay here for a week or so.

It's official...I guess

Houston refuses to let go of the death grip it has on us. Keep trying to get away and it just won't let that happen. Warning: I punched Positive Polly in the face last night so this is going to be an angry, emotional, negative post, there are no flowers and sunshine here. B interviewed last week for a job back home. The interview went really well (his 2nd up there this summer) and they said on Wed. they anticipated a decision by the end of the week, maybe early this week. Well, its Wed. now and B says if they haven't called by now he didn't get it. Do people not call or email those polite "we're sorry we've decided to go a different way..." emails/calls anymore? Have a heart people. They probably know from experience what its like waiting nervously for days to find out if you got the job, they can't at least remember that and give people some closure?! B is taking this much better than I am I'll say that. I spontaneously burst into tears several times yesterday, last night and this morning. I don't want to be here anymore. We said 2 years here and then we want to move home. The scariest part is, there were so many, I mean pretty much every district he would even consider working for in DFW had an opening this year. And out of all those jobs, he got 2 interviews and no call backs. So...how long is this going to go on? I can't waste the money renting a house for 5 more years till something finally works out. I refuse to buy a house here cause we don't want to stay here. This is NOT where we belong. I hate the traffic, the weather, the crime, the people are ghetto. WHY can't this happen for us? WHEN will this happen for us? Its not like we have a bad life here by any means, but we want to go home. I can't handle driving 4 hours to and from everytime we go home. God forbid anyone should come visit us-cause that doesnt happen. There are always more important things for them to do. Well, I guess I've decided that if it not that big of a deal for you to ever even CONSIDER coming here to see me, from now on the people that were priorities to see when we were in town are being re-evaluated. I don't want to hear things like "oh it just wasn't meant to be...the right thing will come along..." I realize that but it doesnt make the situation better. My friend Meghann told me to go kick the dog or pinch a baby, I don't want to do that but I am so angry, hurt, you name it. Granted there are pros and cons to every situation. We talked at length last night about finances and what we need to change, do more of, do less of. Incase we do get lucky next year. This effing sucks!!!!!!!!!!!

You wanna test me?!

Oh my the universe was testing Positive Polly yesterday. I think I stayed pretty positive though. Lets see first, we are still waiting on some important news. Nothing to report there yet. Today is THE day!!! I hope... So I was out to lunch with our CEO yesterday and realized the touch screen on my phone was not responding. I could still turn it off and on but everything is touch and when that doesnt work, nothing works. So after spending awhile on the phone with AT&T and trying the things they told me, we were getting nowhere. So B and I went after dinner last night to the store to let them look at it. I was I guess not that surprised when they told me "yeah we've seen this before with this phone" buh, not what I want to hear! I really didnt want to have to buy a new phone right now. So, after looking around it turns out it was cheaper to get an iphone than a newer version of what I had or anything else so...I'm now the proud owner of an iphone! Granted I always play on B's but having my own I realize I have so much to learn. And I'm still amazed that this was the cheaper option lol. In addition to that, B got me a ring for our anniversary. I love it. Its from the Everlon collection, basically a love knot with a diamond in the center. I guess this makes up for the fact that when a flower delivery man came to my office yesterday with a dozen red roses and I was like "oh wow!" then he said they were for someone else but could he leave them with me and have me call her to come get them since she was on another floor? It was her anniversary too lol. So while they were sitting on my desk people who walked by were like "oh look what your husband sent you!" and I had to be like "no no, these arent for me!" Haha. Thats ok, the ring definately means more and will last longer than roses.

June 28th

Well, I am going to be super Positive Polly today. There are many reasons to say "today is going to be a great day!" First, its our 2nd anniversary!! Yay!! Its been fun. We arent doing anything super big. B was supposed to have jury duty today but when he called they said his group didn't have to report after all. Good news! So we didn't make plans to see any shows or anything since we didn't know what time he would be done, etc. Traffic, blah getting back, etc. We are going to go to Lupe Tortilla (yes where the 1/2 price fajitas and awesome $3 margaritas are) tonight. We really don't go here often, and there is ALWAYS a wait cause of the goodness so it being a Monday this seems like prime time to go. So many things to look forward to, both today and the next 80 years we are married.

On a down note, (sorry) the paranoid side of me is wondering why I can't sleep!! This past week I have woken up like 3-4 times a night at least. Saturday night at like 3:45am I was wide awake. I got up to watch tv and hopefully get tired again. Last night I took 2 benadryl to help me sleep. I still woke up twice. What the heck!! I'm tired!!!

Bad Way To Start the Day

I overslept today, oops. Last night I worked out and it was thunderstorming all night so I thought, an awesome recipe for a good nights sleep. I did feel like I slept better, but I still woke up several times throughout the night. I think I drank too much water last night. I have a personal rule in that if I wake up in the middle of the night I NEVER look at the clock. If I do and I see that its like 30 mins before I'm supposed to get up, I won't fall back asleep. I'd rather be blissfully ignorant! So I think my alarm went off and I hit it and went back to sleep. Then of course, this sets of a chain reaction for the rest of the morning. I had my hair curly yesterday and since I didnt have time to shower, I had to make a quick attempt to straighten it with the chi. So my hair looks very half assed today. Also, on my way to work I realized I was on E and needed gas. This being because last night I was like "oh I dont want to stop I'll do it in the morning." Little did I know the morning would be chaotic. At least its Friday.

Getting back to the real reason I started this blog: me attempting to be a good wife and cook more...I will post pics later of my latest attempt at this. I made B a red velvet cheesecake for his birthday last week.

Still tired

I just have a lot on my mind this week I guess cause me and sleep are not getting along. It probably doesnt help that I really havent worked out this week. Workouts always make me sleep better. I have been trying to finish up my teacher online observations at night. Tonight I'll just have to multi-task.

I was totally freaked last night cause I saw this accident happen. I was going to turn right onto the main road to our neighborhood and luckily before I got to the intersection this truck flew through and tore the front bumper off the car next to me who was turning left and then he flew off the road and into the ditch and flipped the truck. I just sat there like "omg omg" for a minute. So did everyone else. The thing is, the car he hit wasnt even the first car off the line, she was like 3rd or 4th to turn, thats how long our light had been green and the truck's had been red. And then I'm thinking omg if I would've been 2 seconds faster and had been turning he would've taken me out too! So the guy crawled out of the upside down truck and then I see him pull a little boy out and he looked unconscious. WHAT was this guy doing that he ran a red light that long after it had turned?! Was he texting? I bet he feels like crap now, especially if that boy had any major injuries. There was a cop that saw it all too so he was right there quick. Ugh, I was freaked out and it made me cry.

Need....sleep

I am so tired still from the other night. Staying up late just throws everything off! I tried to go to bed earlier last night but I didn't make it in bed before 10:15. I still have 15 hours of online observations for my alternative certification to watch to complete my teacher training and man are they boring. They literally went in and filmed classrooms. But the sound is bad so it feels like you are watching on a nanny cam or something. And some of them the teacher isn't even teaching she is doing like one on one work with the kids. So that is consuming my nights lately.

Happy Hour

I don't know why I was still counting days-vacation is over so...I'm going to stop doing that. Let me start by saying I RARELY ever catch Happy Hour. Not that I don't love me some cheap drinks, but especially these last few months, drinking a butt load of calories and stuffing my face havent sounded to tempting. So last night we had some friends passing through town and we decided to take them to Lupe Tortilla. I freakin love that place. When B first came down here for his interview a few years ago some friends took us there and this was pretty much the only thing I was looking forward to when I knew we would be moving to the Houston area. The margaritas are fab and the food is awesome. They always have all you can eat fajitas on Mon and Tues and of course we never go. Let me just say, I found out for the mere price of $15.95 (which is the same as it is for fajitas anytime) you get all you can eat fajitas, plus a cheese enchilada, and queso. Now even though the "all you can eat" part is wasted on me because yeah right I'm not going to order more I can't eat that much, but I will take some free queso so give me the fajitas please! Did I mention their beef fajitas are amazeballs? To top it off those fab margaritas I was talking about were only $3, yes please! When I stepped on the scale this morning, it kindly reminded me that this is not something I can do all the time. Evidently I gained about a pound and a half of fun last night. Crap!

It was so good having our friends James and Kathy visit. I haven't seen her since Christmas and even though I'll be seeing her more in the next month or so thanks to Bridget's wedding, I'll take some extra Kathy time. They were coming to Houston on the way back to Arlington from New Orleans. They had nothing but fabulous things to say about New Orleans and couldn't stop talking about how much fun they had. I'll admit, I have grown more anxious to visit NOLA over the last year or so. I used to have a not so good opinion of it but after knowing several of my friends who have visited post Katrina, and befriending a NOLA native, my opinion has changed. They had stayed at this haunted B&B on a plantation and were showing us their creepy pics. You know how they say if you take a pic of something and there is an orb its a ghost or spirit? They had some pics that literally looked like it was snowing there were so many orbs! Seriously. They even had a pic of what looks like a guy coming at you. Very creepy! They took a pic of the same thing in the daylight and there is nothing there. Needless to say, I didn't sleep well last night :(

Day 86

Blah its Monday! Now that its summer and B doesn't have to work everyday it is SOOO hard for me to get up in the mornings when he is still sleeping. I sleep a little later which makes me run later and get to work later. Oops.

On a brighter note, my total weight loss now is 7.6 lbs!! Whoo hoo. I forgot to mention earlier when I got home from vacation and weighed myself I fully expected to see some major poundage gained but surprisingly was only 1 pound more! Go me!

I did some serious cleaning this weekend and definately sweated while doing it. Also, its so stinkin hot outside while I was running errands on Saturday I probably sweated out a pound or two. I can't believe its so hot and its not even July yet. I'm kinda scared to see what August is like this year. August in Texas is always ridiculous. I will say though, for some reason when its hot outside, it makes me want to eat less. Nothing worse than feeling hot AND stuffed.

Day 83 TGIF

Forgot to blog yesterday. I did workout Wed. night by the way. I love me some "Get Chisld". I have to admit though, there were a few times I had to take a quick break cause I felt like I was going to just fall down. Amazing what being out of comission for a week can do to a girl!

I didn't workout last night though cause I finally saw Sex and the City 2. I did not have high expectations of it because so many people told me it flat out sucked. I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't the best movie ever by any means but I thought it was pretty funny. I love love love Aidan and was so happy to see him even for a few mins. He is aging well, rawr! This movie confirmed reasons why I never want to visit the UAE, too many rules. I would probably get arrested for walking down the street sideways or something. Like I could ever afford it anyways!

This is a busy weekend for me. I'm shopping for shower decor, mailing invitations, and cleaning my mess of a house for company. That alone might take 2 days!

Day 81 ugh...

Thats right folks I still didn't workout last night. I'm so tired. Even going to bed at my normal bed time again I'm so sleepy when I get up.

Seriously though, tonight I WILL workout.

Day 80 Oopsie

I'm not gonna lie, last night I ate chips and salsa for dinner and did not workout. Oopsie. I was busy last night ordering my bridesmaid dress, trying to finish all our laundry, and attempt to pick up the mess that is my house right now. I know what I'll be doing this weekend. Cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning. Kathy and James are coming to stay with us Monday so at least I have a timeline as to when the house needs to be spotless. Maybe I'll finally workout tonight.

Day 79 Back in the swing of things

Vacation is over and I am back at work-boo :( But man on man am I glad to be back around my own food, and in control! Granted the first few days weren't bad because we stayed with Katie and Dan and we were walking or hiking and eating healtier. But after we headed out for Savannah it was all over from there. Then we were dependent on eating on 3 meals a day, how quickly that can make you feel like crap!

Sunday night we ate outstanding Mexican food and had some ritas, but I went on a long walk that night with Katie around her crazy hilly neighborhood. My butt was thanking me. Monday we went and hiked up Stone Mountain in the morning. Again, my butt was feeling it. That was quite a hike! Then that afternoon we went wine tasting. We earned it. Tuesday we went to the World of Coca Cola and Peidmont Park. Wednesday we headed out to Savannah where we took in Chick Fil-a, pizza, more wine tasting and Paula Deen's all in one day. Oh and some amazing prailines at the candy store. Thats enough to make anyones stomach ache, but have you met my stomach? We don't get along ever. (Well, thats not true. These past few months as I have been eating less carbs my stomach and I have been getting along. I really think its the less carbs means less gluten aspect.) Anywho, Paula Deen's is overrated. Its good but its not amazing and they have people line the streets and come out and ring a dinner bell. I felt like a cow that was being herded to the trough. Needless to say, when insted of dinner rolls a restaurant brings out pancakes and biscuits, you know you arent going to be eating salad! Yeah so...like I said, when you have to eat out 3 meals a day, you def don't want to put on the swim suit and go out in public. Also, people in Hilton Head don't believe in cover ups. Seriously everyone big and small just walked around in their swim suit. One woman even went to the bar at night wearing her swim suit and thats it. Interesting. Its like they are uber confident people.

So today its back on the regular eating schedule and if I can wade through the waves of laundry in my house, maybe even a workout tonight. Sigh.

Day 69

Well last night I had so much to do but still made time to "Get Chisld". I know its bad that I don't do the assigned yoga in P90X. As my friend Meghann puts it, these workouts are building from one another and you aren't following the plan if you make ammendments like that. I know I know. But, I like yoga sometimes, but sometimes I feel that I need more of a workout and want to sweat. So I switch to something else on those days. Sigh. Can't win em all. Again, B is mesmorized by Rebekah Sturkie the instructor. Her body is sick. She must've gotten in crazy shape for that dvd cause even in the others she's in she doesnt look this good. Must be nice. "I'm gonna do a workout dvd soon, I'm gonna drop 10 lbs..." Geez.

Day 68

Whoo! Good news friends- I am now up to 6.6 lbs lost!!! Yaaaayyyy!!! I hope this keeps up. And I even ate Doritos last night, bad. Last night was Back and Biceps, I had never done this one before. I loved it. I like the word "sculpt" and thats pretty much all you do in this workout. Its all about sculpting the "glamour" muscles. Except there is this really annoying girl with a high voice and stupid laugh in this one. She was like making noises and struggling with sets of 15 on 5 lb weights and I'm like bitch I'm using 8 or 12 lb weights doing sets of 18-20 shut your mouth! Tony says if you want big muscles use more weight and aim for 8-10 reps but if you want lean muscle go smaller and shoot for 12-16 reps and make sure you struggle on the last 3,otherwise you need to up your weight.

Day 67

Well when I stepped on the scale this morning I realized I am now .4 lbs away from my goal last week :( Oh well, still .4 lbs lost right? While talking to my mother in law this weekend (who btw has lost 56 lbs)I told her I had lost about 5 lbs and she said "thats good! thats a lot for someone as small as you!" That got me thinking. Do people see me as small? I mean I know I'm short but most around me are not too much taller than me so I definately don't see myself as being small. Not that I understand eating disorders but I do kind of understand how people get body dysmorphia (sp?) I mean you look in the mirror and totally don't see what others see about yourself you know? I see the 17 lbs (now 12 lbs) I've gained since I got married almost 2 years ago. I see it on my arms, my legs, boobs, and most of all my stomach. Sigh. But maybe to other people it only looks like a few pounds.

Last night was Plyo and boy did I have to work to get through that one. Since last week was a "rest" week and didnt require a lot of high impact workouts and then taking a few days off at the lake, I felt a little out of shape. I pushed through it though, sweat and all.

Day 66

Well, evidently this weekend was a success. I was busy during the day so ended up skipping lunch. I thought I would really see some damage since dinner one night consisted of Taco Bell, the next night brisket and carbs, the next night hamburgers and chips, etc. I will say though I get fuller faster these days. I ordered a taco and burrito at Taco Bell Fri night and after the taco I was stuffed. I still ate 1/3 of the burrito but then gave it to B to finish. When I stepped on the scale this morning I was only up a pound. Whew!

I started week 5 of P90X last night and the workout was triceps, shoulders and chest. I HATE this workout. Its boring and your arms are jello mid way through. Blah. I wish I could do the other arm workout instead of this one, but I know its a progression thing.

Day 62

Yesterday for lunch I had one of those Amy's Organic meals I bragged about before. I guess since I haven't eaten them in awhile I realize just how much the amount of sodium thats in those frozen meals affects you! When I stepped on the scale last night I was like yowza! :( Even after running and sweating this morning I still was about a pound and a half more than I have been this week. Boo.

Lets see what this weekend holds.

Day 61

Yay its Thursday finally!! Not that today is significant, its just that its almost Friday. I didn't end up doing anything last night. I got home and B and I went to the grocery store to get stuff for this weekend and then had dinner and then it was the Idol finale so...Lee won!! I always pick the winner. As soon as you get to the top 12 B and I can always spot who will be in the final 2-3 spots. I did run yesterday morning. I got up to run this morning too. Tonight I'm getting my hair cut and then hopefully can workout when I get home in the midst of everything else I need to do tonight.

On a side note, I tried on my bathing suits for B the other night and he didn't throw up so thats a plus. He is good about being honest with me on things so I appreciate that. He actually thought I looked good and can start to see a few changes. I have realized that I have 2 situations, love handles and thunder thighs. So, its best to keep one covered and only have 1 situation out for the world to see lol.

Day 60 Aw yeah Sally is back ya'll!!

Let me give you a little back ground on Sally- one night many moons ago, B and I were out with friends at a bar and I must've been looking good that night cause I was getting quite a alot of attention from guys-wedding ring and all. Guys, unless you are not aware, if you ask a girl her name and she tells you something old school and blah like Sally, she's NOT interested. Thats the "get out of my face and go away" answer. So do just that please. So anywho, since Sally was such a hit, she has become my Sasha Fierce alter ego so to speak. Even though her name is lame.

So I am .8 lbs away from my goal for the week!! Yessss!! I can so do this. I still have a ways to go total, but this is def a good start. Another thing, why is this seeming so easy all of a sudden. For months I lost nothing, did I have some sort of mental block up? Weird.

Come on .8 lbs be gone by Friday!!

Day 59

I am soo close to the weight I want to be for the week. I am tempted to skip dinner tonight to see if I can get there but I know thats bad. Notice I said "the weight I want to be for the week" not my total goal weight, oh no no.

Have you seen the new Christina Aguilera video? Her body is sick, and she's had a child. Ugh. Granted she is tiny anyways but man. Motivation. I love Kendra on E! I love anything on E! but I really like that a majority of this season has shown her struggles to get back into shape after having her baby. You always see celebs on the cover of magazines 4 weeks later and are like seriously? But on Kendra we learn her after baby magazine covers are photoshopped a big and only shot from the front so you can't totally see her belly. The workout video she does they put her in spanx to make it smaller, etc. This last weeks episode she was saying it had been 4 months since she had the baby and she couldn't get her wedding ring on cause her fingers were still too fat.

Last night I did the FIRM's Get Chisl'd. I love love love this workout. Its great and its lead by Rebecca who is my favorite FIRM instructor and she is FIT. Everytime I do this workout and B walks by he stops to watch her lol. She is also realistic she is out of breath when doing a lot of this, which makes me feel better about panting my way through it.

Day 58

Well...this weekend came and went. Friday was my rest day for P90X but I cleaned the house so I think I def sweated it out doing that. Also, in week 4 of each phase is a switch up before the big switcheroo so its like all cardio. I'll be honest I didn't work out Sat or Sun but I did really watch what I ate. Saturday I was on a mission.

1. Find a bridesmaid dress for a wedding in July. From what I've heard every other bridesmaid was able to find a dress at Dillard's for like $50. I tried Dillards, Macy's and JCP with no luck. So I went to Davids Bridal. What a hassle that place has become!! I walked in and of course its a Saturday which means its a mad house. So I pick out some dresses to try on, of course its hard to get a feel for what a dress will really look like on you when they don't have anything similar to the color I will be getting and the sample sizes are like a 2, 14, or a 22. Riiiight. Where are the 6, 8, or 10's?! At least then I could get some sort of idea what it will really look like if it fit! Also, when it was time to try them on, I went to the dressing rooms where are super rude girl told me "you have to go sign in and register" I was like "I have to go sign in and register to try on brides maid dresses? Ok, so I go stand in line for that. Then finally get into a fitting room where my person who is supposed to be helping me is on the phone just chatting away with someone. Thanks for the help!

2. Find a swim suit. This was just as bad. I looked at Macy's, Dillards, and JCP and saw nothing. Every tankini I saw was like old lady or solid black, or like one you would wear for a tri-athalon i.e. not cute. Of all places I actually found one at Academy. We went to buy some new life jackets and I thought what the hey, I'll take a peek. I'm not in love with it but its the closest thing I've found to decent. Whatev.

Day 55 Oh my...

Last night I tried on my swim suits, the 3 I already have... oh my. I wanted to scream, cry, and throw up all at once. HOW did this happen?! It was bad, I'm not lying. So rather than just doing Kenpo for an hour last night, I did that and then spent an extra 30 mins running. This was an emergency!!

I'll be honest, I've never been a fan of tankini's. Sorry to the big girls out there but I always labeled them for big girls. I think its time I look into one. Sigh. I have never found a one piece that offers any support for the girls. They are always low cut and stuff and when you have boobs that doesnt cut it. While the monokini's are cute, you just can't rock that look with love handles.

Day 54

Bah I am so busy lately. I think my mind is exhausted and its causing me to sleep later. I havent gotten up to run at all this week in the morning. Oops. I also have forgotten to do the Ab Ripper dvd after my weight workouts this week. Oops. Seriously where has my mind been?! I have also made 2 trips to the grocery store this week and forgotten many important things. Terrible.

Last night was Legs & Back. I love this workout. Tonight is Kenpo, its kickboxing type stuff. Love that one too.

Day 53

Whoo hoo more weight lost!!! Total poundage now is 4.2...this is a slow process lol. I didn't want to do Yoga last night so I ran instead, while watching The Hangover on HBO. That made the time pass. I love that movie. "Is this hotel pager friendly?" ahahaha.

I will admit now that I am scared of next weekend. Memorial day. There is always lots of food involved. I can TRY not to eat a lot of chips and stuff but I'm worried about the lack of exercise. I can't really just jump in the lake and swim laps. I mean I guess I could but people would be like what are you doing? Lake time usually goes like this: sit, eat, float, eat, float, sit, eat, float. I can't take my dvd's again cause other people will be in the house. I can't ask them to clear out so I can do my Kenpo. Grr.

Day 52

Yesterday was shoulders and arms. I love working out the "glamour" muscles. It goes by so fast. I saw pics of myself from my sisters shower this weekend, omg, DIS-GUSTING!!! I have fat knees. I don't notice anyone else that has fat knees. I'm not kidding. I work on my calves a lot and the only place they have definition is in the back, I need the front part to look better, so my knees don't look fat.

Day 51-only 3 weeks to go!!!

When I weighed myself this morning I was shocked. I ate out 4 times this weekend ( I know ) and managed to only gain a pound. So I've maintained 2 out of the 3 lbs I lost like 2 weeks ago lol. So now that aunt flow has checked out and I am back on schedule, lets try again to lose 2 more lbs this week. I can do this.

I went home for my sisters baby shower this weekend. So we were having to eat on the road a few times. I did however, get up early Saturday morning and do my workout before getting ready and everything so yay! And I was too busy talking during the shower to eat anything. I did eat a cupcake at the end though. She got lots of loot. Baby Anden is almost set. I still don't understand why people don't give gift receipts. I realize that you think your gift is phenom and she wouldn't possibly want to return it but some things she has to. Yesterday I was outside half of the day getting things ready at the lake so I was sweating.

Day 48

I need to unplug from everything. I don't think I have looked forward to a weekend this much in YEARS. Its getting to Brandon too, he had so much on his mind last night he never really slept and got up at 3am and just watched tv till it was time to get up. Poor guy. We are both super stressed, worried, upset, anxious you name it. Ugh.

Its done nothing to help my situation either. Again, I can't figure out my real weight. I know I've had cramps every single day this week, usually its just the first day it starts. But noooo, my body is plotting against me. I can feel it. This blows. I switched up my workout last night and did chest and back again rather than kenpo which I'll do tomorrow morning. There is a reason you do cardio between weight days cause I was not able to do nearly as well as I could've done had there been a day between weights.

Day 47

Dear lord! These last 36ish hours have been so crappy and stressful I forgot to blog! Its all work related, blah blah.

Last night I am dissapointed yet proud of myself. Since yesterday sucked hard I got home and was so freakin hungry nothing but a hamburger would do. Yeah you know those days. Nothing else sounded good. So we ate hamburgers. BUT-I did still workout afterwards! I did still sweat my butt off and lunged and did my whole hour of legs and back. Dissapointed for eating junk but proud that I still did what needed to be done.

I'm going to have to switch up my routine a bit since this is going to be a crazy weekend. I'm switching those workouts that require weights to days when I'll be around weights and those that don't when I'm not going to have any equipment available. Still not sure on my real weight for this week since I'm still puffy and retaining fluids. :(

Day 46

I didn't feel like doing Yoga X last night. Its 90 mins of yoga and the first 30 are so boring so I just ran instead. And I got a late start on that cause I was doing things so, not a super productive night. I wanted to get up this morning to run since I havent gotten up all week but that didnt happen either. I keep weighing myself and I'm still down some but I haven't lost anything yet this week. I know I'm swollen and puffy so I can't wait till that goes away so I can see if there is a difference.

Tonight is legs. I actually like this workout. Followed by Ab Ripper of course.

This weekend is my sisters baby shower. I am excited to see all the stuff she gets. She has been putting up quite the fight on what to wear. She says her arms and everything look fat so she won't wear a dress or capri's cause she said they look disgusting. She said "thats it its jeans and a t-shirt" and we keep telling her you cannot wear jeans and a t-shirt to YOUR baby shower! Maybe its her age but she definately has not embraced this experience like others do lol. I wonder if I'll be that way.

Day 45 Energy Smynergy

Blah amazing how one day your mood can totally change. Its that time of the month and I am swollen and gross. Also, I just realized that it will also be that time on my vacation. Fan-freakin-tastic!! The planner missed that one didn't I?! It won't matter how much weight I lose you def won't be able to tell then. Damnit!!

Last night was shoulders and arms. Or the "glamour muscles" as Tony calls them. These are the muscles you really want people to notice. How right you are Tony.

I am really tired for the 2nd night in a row I woke up at least 10 times. Not sure why. I have also been having crazy dreams. All of which include something I thought about or am currently stressing over. Last night one of the many I had was that I got bitten by a whale shark. Except this whale shark was the size of an 8 lb bass (because my bro-in law caught one last weekend and I saw the pic last night) that looked like a killer whale but tiny and had 2 teeth. He bit my arm. At the lake. (Cause you know they def don't have those at the lake!) The whale shark reference I'm guessing came into play because they have those at the Atlanta Aquarium. The next weird dream I had was that the Burleson job B is looking into might want to hire a girl. So I dreamt that they did, and not just any girl but his cousin. Which would never happen seeing as how she doesnt't even have a hs diploma and has never really even had a job. Yet somehow in my dream she and all her skills beat out B with a masters lol. So there is my other big concern, the job situation disturbing my sleep!! Grr.

Day 44

Well I'm proud to report I have maintained that 3 lb weight loss, even over the weekend! So whoo hoo! I would love to lose 2 lbs this week and get me to this certain number. (Of course that number isn't the final number) but I would be happy to lose 5 lbs in 2 weeks. That doesnt seem to ambitious.

Plyo yesterday wasn't as easy as the first time last week. Perhaps I just didn't have as much energy. I still completed it which is definately an accomplishment on its own but, I was def huffing and puffing a little more than last week. As Tony Horton puts it "plyo is the X in P90X"!!!

Day 41

Lunch yesterday wasn't a total disaster. I ate a big salad and didn't feel overstuffed or hungry after so success!

This morning I got up and ran for 20 mins. Maybe if I attempt it every other day I will be more consistent with it. Baby steps lol.

Day 7 on P90X is supposed to be a rest day. But I know my body and if I do nothing today I will wake up 5 lbs heavier tomorrow so, I might just run for 30 mins or so when I get home and do some ab stuff.

Day 40-Shut the Front Door!!!

Hopefully I am not jinxing myself here but, since Monday I have lost 3.2 lbs!!! Granted my weight can flunctuate a lot on any given day but usually it goes up from what I weigh in the mornings but its actually gone the other way. Believe me my jaw dropped. Please let this continue! My friend Meghann told me last week "maybe you are just one of those people that only benefits from serious weight training" she might be right. Granted, the 30 day shred is cardio and weights but its 5 min of each for 30 mins. P90X is whole hours dedicated to weights and cardio on a seperate day. Maybe I can be a P90X success story! 6 days in and down 3.2 lbs. Shut the front door! Last night was legs and back and ab ripper. How to describe legs and back? This workout is different from the other weight day workouts because in the others you do a series of 3-4 moves and repeat, then switch to a new 3-4 moves and repeat, and repeat for the whole hour. Legs and back is a different exercise each time, which is good cause I like variety.

Now I'm scared because I am meeting a friend for lunch today and I don't want to ruin this. I've been eating chicken and broccoli for lunch this week-so salad it is today!

Day 39-Call me Positive Polly

I feel better today, much more positive. I'm puttin out the good vibes :) Ooosah. This morning I actually got up and ran for 20 mins. I have been attempting this all week but didn't succeed till today. So thats done, tonight is legs and back workout. Last night was yoga. I like yoga put the P90X yoga is 90 mins long and thats a little much. The first 25 mins or so is super boring too so you have to suffer through that and doing the astunga (sp?) sun salutations to get to the interesting yoga. Sigh.

I have a serious headache today though. I wonder if its from the wine I drank last night? I just had one glass but man, maybe it had too much sulfites-which are responsible for the "cheap wine" headaches. I didn't think it was super cheap but whatever! Took some meds and gotta push through today is a busy busy day!

Day 38-Swim suits suck

Last night was shoulders and arms, a whole hour of shoulders, biceps and triceps and then Ab Ripper 15 mins of intense ab work. Boring? Yes. Neccesary? Totally.

I went Friday night for my first (of many I'm sure) swim suit shopping sessions. I know most of you say "I would kill for big boobs" it really limits you trust me, especially with suits. So of course, nothing affordable fits properly. The $16 each piece Old Navy swim suits don't hold these suckers up. Last time I bought a swim suit 2 years ago I spent $75 on the top alone at one of those swim suit stores, and paired it with some $14 bottoms from Old Navy. While that swim suit still fits, I would love a little variety, hell I would love color. Thats the other bad part about this boob gig, the only tops I can ever find that fit me are usually black or some other solid boring color. Nothing bright and summery, no patterns. The top I have now is reversible, black with white polka dots and white with black stripes, this is as fun of a pattern I've ever had :(

Its also come to my attention that with only 31 days left till vacation no miracles will have occured by then as far as my beach body goes. Time to be realistic. I'll be lucky to lose 2 lbs by then. I'll be the super pale (even with my spray tan) non pregnant but pregnant looking girl on the beach, sigh.

Pity party for 1 please! Sorry for the pessimism today, I'm super frustrated and anxiously awaiting some news.

Day 37-Xtreme

Back on the P90X wagon as of Saturday. Classic version this time. First workout chest and back one hour of pushups and since I can't do pullups, using a resistance band to substitute the motions and yes thats allowed, they even have a cast member who does it on bands to show you it can be the same. While I do have a pull up bar I cannot do a single pull up! Its easy to see why these people get so ripped so fast doing those but I guess I have nowhere near the upper body strength to do those. Something to work towards I suppose. On the other hand, day 2 was Plyometrics, this is the mother of all cardio. Its an hour of jump training. The last time I tried this workout I made it through only 30 mins of it and had to stop repeatedly cause I was sweating and breathing so hard and my legs were dead. I made it through the WHOLE thing yesterday with only taking the allotted breaks!!! I guess the 30 day shred did prepare me a little by increasing my stamina and endurance. I noticed a lot of these moves are in Jillians workouts as well. So thank you for that I guess. I am really proud of myself. I was still sweating dont get me wrong but I wasn't feeling like I was going to die, whew.

Day 34-What the??!!!

Got my lab results back today after all and guess what-they found nothing!! It sounds bad that I am upset by this. I mean clearly I am happy to be healthy but at the same time, really frustrated because there is nothing keeping me from losing weight but myself it seems. What am I doing wrong?!! Grrr. B suggested I try P90X again but this time do the real version and not the "lean" version that I tried the first time around-which also got me nowhere. The classic version is more intense. It just irritates me when the worst thing in my house to eat is Reduced Fat Jiff Peanut butter.

Day 33-Doctor Day

Well thankfully I wasn't at the doctors office all morning. It actually went pretty quickly, I guess thats what you get for getting in early-they don't get a chance to run behind! Unfortunately, I got no answers today. They said they probably won't have all my labs back till Monday so they'll call me. Grrr. I took my blood pressure myself this morning and it was sky high at 136/96 and I thought, "oh no, i'm doomed." I get really nervous when I go to the doctor because I'm afraid they will see my blood pressure is and put me on meds-which I don't want to be on, so in worrying I usually make it worse. But, thankfully, when the nurse took it it was 128/84 whew. I want a clean bill of health but if it comes back that I'm normal and just fat, I'm going to be really upset! She said just keep working out like I have been and drink plenty of water.

Day 32-Back on track

Whoo ok we are back on track. Last night I did my 30 day workout and the Firm 15 mins of crazy cardio. Sweaty mess that was. This morning I got up and did my pilates. So far so good. I am really excited about my doctors appt tomorrow how sad is that? I just want some answers-and a clean bill of health.

Tues-Day 31

I'll be honest I haven't done anything since last Thurs night. I had every intention of getting up and doing something Friday morning but since I was going out of town and leaving straight from work I was rushing to make sure I didnt forget everything. Well, I forgot the workout whoops. I am proud of myself for not completely eating like crap this weekend-until Sunday. B and I basically switched places, I came home and he went to Ft. Worth so we met at a roadside DQ (lack of options on this drive) for a romantic lunch lol. I slept so much this weekend and was so tired. So still feeling tired, Monday morning workout didnt happen. We went to the grocery store last night after I got off work and then ate dinner. By that time it was after 8 so working out wasn't in the cards. Tonight I will get back on the horse.

In summary 30 days later-NO CHANGE!!!

Day 27

Yesterday I again did my pilates in the am and at night I decided to go to level 3. I am really surprised, not that it was easy by any means but its definately more about using your own body weight as resistance rather than the weights and more plyometrics based. You still use weights but not as much. I feel that level 2 is harder, I was definately sweating more with level 2.

I am mad at myself because I had my alarm set for 5:30 this morning to get up and workout prior to my normal time because I am leaving straight from work to go somewhere and had to get stuff ready and what happens? Of course I dont recall turning it off and going back to sleep. So when I wake up at my normal time I'm like "crap." Oh well.