Day 34-What the??!!!

Got my lab results back today after all and guess what-they found nothing!! It sounds bad that I am upset by this. I mean clearly I am happy to be healthy but at the same time, really frustrated because there is nothing keeping me from losing weight but myself it seems. What am I doing wrong?!! Grrr. B suggested I try P90X again but this time do the real version and not the "lean" version that I tried the first time around-which also got me nowhere. The classic version is more intense. It just irritates me when the worst thing in my house to eat is Reduced Fat Jiff Peanut butter.

Day 33-Doctor Day

Well thankfully I wasn't at the doctors office all morning. It actually went pretty quickly, I guess thats what you get for getting in early-they don't get a chance to run behind! Unfortunately, I got no answers today. They said they probably won't have all my labs back till Monday so they'll call me. Grrr. I took my blood pressure myself this morning and it was sky high at 136/96 and I thought, "oh no, i'm doomed." I get really nervous when I go to the doctor because I'm afraid they will see my blood pressure is and put me on meds-which I don't want to be on, so in worrying I usually make it worse. But, thankfully, when the nurse took it it was 128/84 whew. I want a clean bill of health but if it comes back that I'm normal and just fat, I'm going to be really upset! She said just keep working out like I have been and drink plenty of water.

Day 32-Back on track

Whoo ok we are back on track. Last night I did my 30 day workout and the Firm 15 mins of crazy cardio. Sweaty mess that was. This morning I got up and did my pilates. So far so good. I am really excited about my doctors appt tomorrow how sad is that? I just want some answers-and a clean bill of health.

Tues-Day 31

I'll be honest I haven't done anything since last Thurs night. I had every intention of getting up and doing something Friday morning but since I was going out of town and leaving straight from work I was rushing to make sure I didnt forget everything. Well, I forgot the workout whoops. I am proud of myself for not completely eating like crap this weekend-until Sunday. B and I basically switched places, I came home and he went to Ft. Worth so we met at a roadside DQ (lack of options on this drive) for a romantic lunch lol. I slept so much this weekend and was so tired. So still feeling tired, Monday morning workout didnt happen. We went to the grocery store last night after I got off work and then ate dinner. By that time it was after 8 so working out wasn't in the cards. Tonight I will get back on the horse.

In summary 30 days later-NO CHANGE!!!

Day 27

Yesterday I again did my pilates in the am and at night I decided to go to level 3. I am really surprised, not that it was easy by any means but its definately more about using your own body weight as resistance rather than the weights and more plyometrics based. You still use weights but not as much. I feel that level 2 is harder, I was definately sweating more with level 2.

I am mad at myself because I had my alarm set for 5:30 this morning to get up and workout prior to my normal time because I am leaving straight from work to go somewhere and had to get stuff ready and what happens? Of course I dont recall turning it off and going back to sleep. So when I wake up at my normal time I'm like "crap." Oh well.

Thurs-Day 26

I made a doctors appt to have a physical next Thursday. Maybe there is something glaringly obvious that they will be able to see and I can't. Plus this will put my mind at ease. I got the first slot of the day, so hopefully it won't take forever. The last time I had a physical was like '07 and he said "you are the picture of health" as far as all my tests were concerned. So...we'll see whats changed. I know since then I have put on 15 lbs and my blood pressure was high. So high that my gyno took me off the pill. So since its been about 6 months since then, I'm curious to see how my bp is now. Everytime I take it at home with my machine its ok, but I get nervous and start worrying that it will be high when I'm in their office and I think I make it worse. We shall see I guess.

I have been switching it up these last few days and doing pilates in the morning instead of the 30 day shred and then doing the 30 day shred and something else at night. I kind of like the stretching in the morning.

Wed-Day 25

I tried not to weigh myself for a few days so I could be surprised when I finally did. I weighed this morning and I have gained weight. WTH???!!!! This is ridiculous I DONT UNDERSTAND!!!! I have been trying to carb down, I am eating less but still enough, I am working out an hour and a half a day and I gained weight!!!! I am fighting back tears right now let me tell you. And I really don't think its muscle weight because I have put on about 15 pounds in the last 2 years and I know that I am not supposed to weigh this. This is not my "healthy weight". My "healthy weight" I am now seeing I totally took for granted and it was 15 pounds ago. I thought when I first started this adventure that I could lose at least 10 pounds by the trip. Seeing as how I had about 10 weeks to do that, I thought a pound a week is totally doable! But at this rate, I'll be glad to lose 5, and I havent lost any!! I really don't know what to do. Do I need to see an endocrinologist? Do I need to have a physical? What do I need to do?

Tues-Day 24

Tae Bo let me down big time. I pretty much wasted 30 mins and I am mad. It was the basic workout revamped ( I guess in the mid 2000's he revamped his videos) I do remember the advanced being super awesome but I know I am definately not ready for that just yet. So 30 mins, and hardly any sweat. I feel like I got nothing accomplished. Man was my back and neck sore yesterday. Upping the weight sure did make a difference! I'm still kinda stiff today. After that I did pilates.

Still deciding on what todays workout should be besides the 30 day workout. I probably need to be running at least every other day. So I guess that will be part of my remaining hour. Only 47 more days. And I should probably start looking for a new swim suit now since it takes me forever to find a decent one. Blah.

Mon-Day 23

Oh my energy was non-existent this morning. It was a rough time doing the 30 day workout let me tell ya. My back hurts from upping my weights. Good. Now I'm just wondering what to do for my 2nd workout today. Maybe some Tae Bo, its been awhile since I've done that. Then maybe try running again. After I run my, I always feel it in my hips the next day. I'm not sure if its cause the fat was bouncing around or what, but I like to think of it as shrinking pains lol.

Sun-Day 22

We did not end up going to a seafood place last night after all. After browsing online menus it seems a majority of the places around here are more cajun seafood types and me being a beginner, that just wasn't going to fly. Like I said, I'm starting with salmon and tilapia I am not ready for crab, crawfish, oysters or shrimp. That and it was super expensive and I was having trouble with thinking I was going to order something and might hate it and it would cost me $22. Sigh, oh well.

Today was a lazy rainy day. I didn't work out till almost 6pm. Today I did my 30 day shred and ran. I have realized that maybe I was over exerting myself. Since I am starting back at running, perhaps I am not ready to start out quite so fast. So, I did ok running a minute and walking a min for 30 mins and running at a little slower speed.

I am needless to say, frustrated with this experience. I have noticed a tiny improvement in my arms and my butt seems to be sitting a little higher lately. But, with swim suit time fast approaching I am trying to work on the gut and the thighs. Even on days I do 30 day, FIRM and pilates, its still an hour combined. Even though its a tough hour, it doesnt seem to be enough. So this week we will start kicking into high gear, well higher gear, with an hour and a half a day. So I have to drag my lazy ass out of bed in the mornings to knock the 30 day out, and then at night do at least an hour of something else. I keep telling myself, its hard getting back into shape, but it will be well worth it. And once we have achieved something its a matter of maintaining it. Come on body, we used to be friends. They say it only gets harder.

Sat-Day 21

Well, traffic sucked yesterday so by the time I got home from work I really didn't have time to do my workout. I was pissed. I only had time to eat something quickly and then pick up the house a bit before Ashley came to get me. We went to Cru a wine bar in Market Street before we saw the Runaways. Little Dakota Fanning is all grown up and she was great in this movie. And for once Kristen Stewart didn't look miserable and like she was trying to escape her skin. She was good also. This movie was very gritty and raunchy, I'll be honest. So I had an $11 glass of merlot prior to the movie. It was good, clearly you can't stay long at Cru or you will go broke!!

I am stuck in the house today because I either have pink eye or some sort of eye infection. It was a little red Wed and Thurs but when I woke up the next day it was better. But Friday it was super red all day and night and just kept getting worse. This morning it was all nasty. So because my glasses need to be updated I can't wear them but around the house and since B is working I can't really go anywhere. So, today I did my 30 day, FIRM, and pilates workouts. I upped my weights on the 30 day on a few parts. Its the parts that are supposed to be working your back muscles and I felt like I wasn't getting much using 5 lbs so I went up to 8 lbs.

Tonight we are trying something new. Perplexed with the "what can we eat?" question again, we decided to try a seafood place. This is a big step for me because a. I dont like seafood really and b. its because of the huge food poisoning risk with seafood. I have actually found a salmon I like that we buy at Sam's that seasoned and tasty and I can stomach tilapia. I have never paid for seafood at a restaurant before, so here goes nothing!

P.S. On Dr. Oz the other day they were talking about what restaurants don't want you to know. One thing was don't go for the "specials" especially if it involves seafood b/c really its starting to go bad and its the restaurant trying to get rid of it. And if its a soup, the same goes. They will throw anything into soups to use it up when it may not be fresh anymore. Also, never eat tiger shrimp! They are nasty critters that live on the bottom and eat their own poop and other gross stuff. Don't eat them! I hate shrimp anyways they creep me out. Nice to know my fear of seafood wasn't without warrant!

Friday-Day 20

Tonight I am going to have some wine and see a movie so I must earn this. Again, I didn't get up and work out before work, so I need to scoot home and get in a quick workout before I go drink my dinner. I have been craving a glass of wine so bad this week but have refrained. I try to save it for the weekends. World Market is having a wine tasting tomorrow from 1-4 and also a white wine sale this week so I might check it out. Unfortunately, I won't be participating in the wine tasting since I have no one to go with. I can't be the lonely girl drinking by myself on a Saturday afternoon lol. Sigh.

Tomorrow B works all day, surprise, so I have the day to run errands and get in a major workout.

Thurs-Day 19

I have been so tired this week and have not had the energy to get up and workout before work. So I have been trying to work out longer in the evening to make up for it. Thursday evening I did the 30 day workout, the FIRM 15 mins of insanity and pilates. Sweat-check. Soreness-check. Ok mission accomplished. In the meantime I still have not lost weight nor lost inches. I realize this won't happen overnight but...seriously? Whats the hold up body? Surely we should be getting some sort of progress here right? I am on my period so maybe when this is over I will weigh in and realize, oh ok it was all extra water weight this week. But I won't hold my breath.

Wed-Day 18

So I surprised myself at the dinner the other night. The meal was chicken and beef with jalepeno sweet potatoes and asparagus. Everything in this town always happens at this hotel so I have had the food here many times. Its always good but their chicken is always a little pink. I have a fear of food poisoning so I don't usually eat it all. This time since there was beef also, I didn't even bother with the pink chicken. I am not a sweet potatoe fan either so that elmininated the carbs part. And then came dessert. Oh my. A "chocolate bombe" they call it which was super sweet and I think mousse. And a shot glass of white chocolate that was runny and tasted more like sweet milk. So a few bites of the mousse and that was it. Disaster evening avoided!

Wed. night was spent with Jillian, still on level 2. I am afraid to move up to level 3 cause level 2 still gets me crazy sweaty in our short time together. I also remembered that most of my FIRM dvd's have a 25 min express workout option thats a condensed version of the whole thing. I love love love the FIRM workouts. They have always been great and these past few years they have really put out some great ones. One of the newest and my favorites is called "Get Chisel'd" and it does not have a 25 min express workout but it does have a bonus "burn 175 calories in 15 mins" workout. So I added that to my 30 day shred mix yesterday. Its basically crazy intense cardio for 15 mins. Major sweat, I loved it.

Tues-Day 17

So last night when I got home I put my running shoes on and hopped on the treadmill. Here's the story with my treadmill-it was free. Up until about a week ago the numbers were visible also, but now its pretty much totally faded. So I can't see how long its been, how fast I'm going, needless to say this makes running difficult. Instead I have to slow down enough to turn and check the clock, which turns into a constant thing cause I'm exhausted and ready to stop, ugh. So running is complicated! But I ran anyways. Then I did pilates.

This morning I did pilates. It still makes you sweat but not a hair soaking drenched sweat. I have to work a dinner tonight for work and I am scared to eat. I will try very hard today to not eat a lot of carbs cause I know dinner with have plenty. Which sucks cause thats really the last thing you want at the end of the day: carbs. But we are having chicken and beef and salad so I know I can definately eat that. Did I mention they are having 2 desserts? This will be a true test of will. I will sample them both but not eat the whole thing! Ooosah....stay strong!! Cause I did not work so hard these past 17 days to lose a pound and then ruin it!!!

New lunches

So... when I found out my schedule at work was going back to full time I was like "yay!" and then I was like "crap, now I have to find something to bring to work 5 days a week again for lunch." So at Walmart I found Amy's Organic Meals that are in the freezer section with all the Smart Ones and Lean Cuisines. All organic, most are gluten free, all are made with no genetically modified ingredients. And the best part: THEY ARE AWESOME!! I mean it these are freakin good. I haven't had one yet that I didn't like. Also, they are around the same prices as lean cuisines at $2.88 and $3.19 for some. Most are $2.88. Go to their website they have tons of products. They even have kids meals (nudge parents.) There are soups too that are good. I am lovin Amy's Organics. Most of the entrees I see are mexican and pasta themed ones. I have yet to eat one that wasn't really good. Today I had cheese enchiladas-uh-mazing. Almost all of their products are meatless also.

So yeah-just wanted to share the wonderfulness that is the Amy's brand.

Monday-Day 16

Whoo my arms and back are still sore from all the bending over and scrubbing I did yesterday between cleaning the cars and cleaning the house. Stretch it out and power through! I got up and did my 30 day shred. My dvd player froze right before the last segment. The only thing I HATE about this dvd is that you can't fast forward through her intro. Ugh. So by the time she got done and I got back to where I was I had wasted 10 mins. Grr.

My scale actually said the same # today all 5 times I weighed. Not sure if it was telling me "this is it lady leave me alone!" or if it was just lazy and was like "eh, I'll tell you this today" either way, I still have maintained a 1 pound loss this week. Please God, lets do better this week.

56 days till vacation!!

Sat-Day 14 & Sun-Day 15

Saturday:

Saturday has never taken so long to get here! This is Brandon's only weekend off this month so we are doing a date day! Yay! But not before I completed my 30 day shred workout for the day. And I threw some pilates on top. Determined to not ruin our diets we scoured a few places websites trying to find a lunch that wouldn't totally ruin our weeks worth of work. Well, it wasnt easy. We decided on Chili's. He had the margarita chicken and subbed the rice for veggies. I had the BBQ chicken salad. To my surprise it tastes almost exactly like the quesadilla explosion salad minus the quasadillas and thats our usual choice at Chili's. Well, sure enough it ended up having 50 carbs (expected) but 1000 calories! WTH?! Of course I found that out after I ate it :( Oh well. Next time I will be getting the margarita chicken as well. It didnt have a lot of carbs and was about 350 calories after swapping the rice for veggies. We came home and made a salad for dinner. Compelled by hunger and again, not wanting to ruin the carb thing. We threw some steak quesadilla meat onto this salad, along with bell peppers, guacamole and cheese. After I found out quacamole had like 1 carb I've been putting it on everything lol. I love it anyways. I used to not when I was little, I think it was the color.

We also went shopping and were determined to find some other forms of protein besides chicken and fish. So we found some excellent chicken sausage stuffed with cheese, which were pretty damn good. We also bought a huge bag of pepperjack cheese cubes. Small and easy snack right there.

I also did some research and turns out wine is not bad as far as carbs go either. The downside with wine though is it spikes your blood sugar. Oh well, we bought some organic wine and it was fantastic. It didnt take us long to become red wine drinkers. I used to only like white, red was just too bitter. But after successfully trying more reds the last time we went wine tasting over Thanksgiving break last year, we finally started liking reds more. My fav is definately Cabernet Sauvignon. Organic wine has less sulfites, which are responsible for the "cheap wine" headaches the next day. Red wine especially doesnt need added sulfites, but all wines contain some. Usually European wines tend not to add them. And with organics, there are definately not added weird stuff. There aren't a whole lot of organic wines out there yet but when we find one we try it. So far I have only encountered one bad one, and it was a chardonnay. Can't win em all.

Sunday:

So I didn't do the 30 day shred dvd today but I have been busy washing both cars and vacuuming them out and cleaning the house. Going to the carwash is always a good arm workout cause that little brush thing gets heavy after a few minutes. Needless to say after washing both cars and vacuuming and sweeping and mopping the house, my arms are dead! I even have a blister on one hand, ouch. B's workout for the day is mowing and edging the front and back yards and pulling weeds. Our freaking HOA is crazy picky and sends us hate mail like once a week saying our yard isnt good enough. It actually really pisses me off because they mail these letters, wasting .44cents of the home owners dues mailing these bs letters. If you are driving around picking on peoples yards, why not just put a note on the door? I think its cause we live on a corner we get it so bad. Ok, gotta get back to cleaning for cardio!

Friday-Day 13

So as you know yesterday was my "day off". And it might be the last one I take for awhile after that horrifying discovery yesterday morning. I didn't workout this morning either so I will when I get home today. Ever since I've started this journey I wake up to pee at least twice a night. I used to never wake up and never hear Brandon's alarm when it went off 30-40 mins before mine but lately its like I'm not sleeping deeply anymore. It used to be that exercise would make me sleep deeper. What gives? I'm going to try to cut back on the water lol. Its probably that I drink a bottle of water during the day and 2-4 glasses at night. Maybe that should be reversed.

Since my scale is wacko I will usually weigh myself 3-5 times at once and take the number that appears the most lol. According to that, I've lost 1.2 lbs this week. Although, I think its more the low carb than the working out, and I wish that were not the case.

Thurs-Day 12

So the energy level last night was not super so after Level 2 I was really not going to be able to make it through level 1 on top of that. So I did level 2 and pilates and called it a night.

I decided today would be my "day off" from working out so I skipped it this morning and tonight I have a hair appt and won't be home till like 7:30pm. Well I really wish I wouldn't have done that. Cause I got out the tape measurer and measured my goods this morning and realized that my waist is 3 inches bigger than it was the last time I measured a few months back. I wanted to throw up and cry at the same time :( HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! Omg. So yeah, I am going to have to up the intensity with more running. Since I really havent ran, like really ran in oh I dunno a year, I can barely make it through 2 mins at a time without dying. So its like starting from scratch. Come on intervals. Today is a bad, sad day.

Wed-Day 11

Ah, so I did my time on the treadmill and pilates last night again after I got home. I am taking more showers lately than ever it seems. I am constantly sweaty I feel like...oh well, lets hope its not for nothing! I find its easiest for me to do my treadmill time while watching E! news or the Daily 10- yes I'm an E! addict. Anything on E! I'm watching. Except that Wild Girls show or whatever. I don't feel that we needed to give those girls their own show, especially when one is a theif-alledgedly.

I had to be at work a little early today due to a benefits meeting. Yay, my least favorite thing, signing up for insurance! And of course the cost is going up-yay! Nice way to start the day. So, in leiu of my morning 30 day shred, I'll be doing levels 1 and 2 this evening.

Also, I have 3 scales in my house-2 digital and 1 regular. They all are off. The oldest digital scale reports about 2-3 lbs more than the newer digital scale. The newer digital scale reports about 5 lbs more than the regular scale. So, I really have no clue what I weigh :(

Tues-Day 10

My alarm was set for 5:50am this morning and when Brandon got up I thought, "I missed my alarm, now its too late to workout in the morning, I'll have to do it when I get home" and then I realized wait its only 5:47am it didn't go off yet! So up I went to put on the workout clothes.

According to Dr. Oz yesterday, they can now test your DNA to find out which types of diets suit your body better. For a mere price of $149.99 you can send a swab of your spit off to be tested. Or, they just listed certain indicators. According to those, my body is best suited for a low carb diet. He showed a mannequin with some sort of wax hips and lit a torch and literally melted it away lol. Who wouldn't want to do a low carb diet after seeing that?! Well, wouldn't you know B and I had already started a few days ago! Not completely no carb, we just carb down throughout the day and consume most of them early in the day. (Having him on this with me makes it so much easier!) So, they say to keep it under 60 grams of carbs a day. Thats harder than it sounds! Considering even things you wouldn't think have carbs have a few grams.

Last night I walked the dog, spent 20 mins on the treadmill and did 20 min of pilates. I figure if the goals are to work on abs, boobs, and thighs I pretty much covered those bases. Why is that treadmill time is the slowest time ever?

Mon-Day 9

Sooo...I actually got up early today to get my workout out of the way early. Whew. It really does give you an energy boost to do it in the morning cause on the way to work I was like "I feel really good!" and then by about 9:30am that energy has worn off and its just like "blah, when's lunch?" Oh well. I am fully aware that this 20 mins a day is not enough and that I have to do something else on top of it. I just wanted to get my endurance and energy up the first week so I can attempt a morning and an evening workout from here on out. Since I sit on my butt 8 hrs a day 20 mins is simply not enough to do anything, so time to amp it up! Perhaps I should do some stairs when the afternoon slump hits...

Day 8-And then there was rest

Ok so I didn't actually plan on not working out today but, Brandon is home for the first day in a few days and we ate and hung out and then it was already like 6pm and ugh. I'm not gonna lie, we were watching Food Wars on the Travel channel and they were debating on the best burgers in Minnesota and after we saw that we were just set on eating one ourselves. FAIL!!!! Oops. At least I worked out twice yesterday.

Countdown to Bikini Bod....Ugh

Whew ok, so I haven't updated this in months, I know. Truth be told there is a post I have been wanting to write about all this time but knew it would be long and didn't want to sit and type it so...I'll come back to that. So, I'm going to take this blog in a different direction for a the next few months, follow me if you want!

So long story short, I am going on vacation in about 2 months, not to mention the time to put on the dreaded swim suit is fast approaching aka: Memorial Day weekend at the lake, yikes!! So, I have been the proud owner of Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred dvd since Christmas of '08 and have done it a hand full of times. It's only a 20ish minute workout and she follows the 3, 2, 1 method of 3 mins of strength, 2 mins of cardio and 1 min of abs. Its a tough workout, she makes you WORK for that 20 mins, would you expect anything less from her? So, my friend Hanna started to blog about her progress in order to keep herself on track and accountable and it really helped her. Way to go Hanna! She has seen huge improvements in her body and even lost a few lbs. She actually even started out using cans of beans as weights because she didnt want to invest in any incase she didn't stick with it lol. So, I'm going to use this as my workout diary for the next few months until its time to get in the swim suit, gulp. Of course the proper diet goes along with this excercise. I do catch myself saying, "do not eat chips that will def not help!" And I also bought some whey protein powder and have done a good job drinking a protein shake once a day for my mid morning snack.

Goals:
-Obviously to look good in a swim suit
-Boobs to get a little smaller-I put on some of my summer dresses and evidently my boobs have gotten bigger and these dresses aren't real flattering anymore. I would like to wear them and not have sagging issues. :( They aren't pretty big boobs anymore they are like fat girl boobs.
-My stomach looks like I am either about to have a baby or just did-since I don't recall having a child, THIS IS NOT OK!!!!
-Thighs, you and I have never gotten along. Let's call a truce and hug it out.

And since I didn't get to blog sooner here is a rundown of week 1:

Sun-Day 1:
This is only 20 mins, this is only 20 mins...I know my calves are gonna be sore.

Mon-Day 2:
Holy crap my calves are sore! Her 3 min warm up does not stretch out the calves enough, note to self: stretch more on your own prior to the warmup.

Tues-Day 3:
Calves are still tight, ouch. The dog jumped on the bed this morning and stepped on my thighs and a tear came to my eye.

Wed-Day 4:
I can totally tell my endurance is getting better, thank God!! Except note to self: do not ever again wait until 8:30 at night to do this, my energy is non-existent :(

Thurs-Day 5:
I really didn't want to work out today, blah. Ok today we are moving up to level 2. Holy hell its a lot harder than level 1!!! Geez. I can do this...

Fri-Day 6:
Gotta squeeze in a workout before I go to Karri's and start my day. Level 2 was a little easier today, again maybe I shouldn't wait till 8pm to do this. Workout got interruped half way through when I noticed Cooper was in the backyard of the neighbors rather than our yard. I couldn't figure out how he got over there so I had to put shoes on and go to the neighbors and knock on their door and feel ridiculous when they answer only to say "yeah hi, my dog's in your yard so can I get him?" Maybe if they would fix the flippin fence (Hurricane Ike was almost 2 years ago mind you) then my dog wouldn't be able to see your stupid dog and get in your yard in the first place...but thats a whole other story.

Sat-Day 7:
Went shopping for some new summer clothes today. Talk about motivation. I bought 3 pairs of bermuda shorts to show B and see which ones truly look ok. I bought some plaid ones but they are a bit snug. Part of me wants to hold onto them another week or 2 to see if these sausage thighs improve a little to make them look decent on, but then I know I have dont that in the past and nothing happened so...keep them/take them back?

So, since I came home and tried on those shorts again, I decided to do level 1 and 2 today!! Level 2 first. I now realize that it seems the strength segments in level 1 are harder than level 2. Yeah my arms are on fire. Yesss!!

P.S. Did I mention I usually drink almost 2 glass of water during these workouts?!